Snippets

Let’s play catch-up, shall we? Well, the last week at least.

 

Guessing Game

A couple months ago I asked Jaden if she had any guesses as to where we were going on our Super-Secret-Special Trip. She guessed the Science Museum to which I replied, “Dream big, Jaden, dream big.” In my most encouraging tone, of course.

The other night at bedtime I asked her if she had any new guesses since we’re getting close to The Trip.

“Paris?”

I busted out a, “HA!” and thought, “Well, I told her to dream big.” Now, I’d originally told her I wasn’t going to say “yes” or “no” to her guesses but that it’s still fun to guess. However, I really couldn’t let the girl think we’re going to Paris so I said, “Oh, Paris would be wonderful but it’s a little out of our price range.”

“Umm….Hawaii?”

“Honey, we would love to take you kids to Hawaii but that’s in the same price range as Paris. Meaning: out of ours. One more guess?”

“China!”

“Wow. Ok, no. We’re going to stay in the Continental U.S. So, in this country but not Hawaii or Alaska or Puerto Rico or any other U.S. territory not attached to the main bulk of the country.”

“Is Montana in the country?”

“Yes, Montana is.”

“What about Europe?”

“No, sweetie, that’s a whole different continent across the ocean and Paris is there. I think you’re done guessing for tonight.”

The next day Jonas guessed New York City and Jaden guessed Washington DC. Is it weird that neither of them has guessed Disney World yet?

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Clues

Last week Jaden made the comment that she doesn’t get to wear her sandals anymore because it’s getting colder out. I gave her a clue about the Big Secret Trip: “You’ll be bringing your sandals with.”

The next day Matt called me while I was driving home and asked why Jaden and Jonas were digging through closets and bins of shoes looking for sandals and why Jaden was crying because they couldn’t find them.

*****

Matt and I are having a hard time keeping this thing secret. Ok, mostly I. I’ve slipped a few times when the kids, luckily, weren’t listening.  I really want to tell them something. I thought I was alone in this until Monday when Matt tried again and again to give Jaden challenges to pass so we could tell them something:

1)     If she got another 20/20 on her spelling test.

  1. Matt couldn’t wait until Tuesday and he gave her a practice test. She got 19/20. So…

2)     At dinner he told her if she spelled “vacation” correctly.

  1. She was VERY close but forgot the “t.” I was willing to give it to her because seriously, English is so effed up, I’m surprised she got that much correct. Matt wasn’t quite as ready but gave her another shot. He spelled it out for her twice and asked her to repeat it but, again, she forgot the “t.” Then he got desperate.

3)     “If you can tell me one amazing thing that I’ve never heard before, we’ll tell you something.”

After a mere second or two of thought, Jaden said, “Today, I petted a unicorn.”

“Really?” I asked, genuinely interested, “Where did this happen?”

“At school,”she said simply, “There’s a petting zoo there with all kinds of animals that don’t exist. There are unicorns and pegasi and colored ponies.”

4)     At this point I looked at Matt and mouthed, “Pegasi?” and was (again) ready to give it to her right there for using an awesome plural form of Pegasus. Matt was not. However, he agreed that this was indeed an amazing thing he’d never heard and asked Jaden what’s the difference between a Pegasus and a unicorn.

“A Pegasus can fly and a unicorn has a horn.”

“OH,” Matt said, giving me a significant look, “So you’re saying Pegasus can fly? Hmmm… I wonder what else flies.”

Because god forbid Matt just come out and tell them plain. After some ideas from both kids, I finally stepped in, had them clean off the table and told them we were taking a plane.

They are both very excited.

*****************************************************************

Negotiations

Jonas has a blanket that he got for his 2nd Christmas when he was just a year old. It’s well-loved, to say the least, and Gramma has mended it several times. Finally it got to the point where we had to talk about replacing it. Jonas wanted another brown and white striped blanket. This is when I found out my mother –in-law, the same Gramma who mended the original blanket, can knit and I asked her to knit him a new brown and white striped blanket.

This morning, I told the kids to get their shoes and jackets on because it was chilly. Jonas did not want to wear his jacket. I held it out to him and said, “Here, just put this on, ok, buddy?” He dashed off to his room while I wasn’t exactly paying attention and came back with Old Brown Blankey. “I’ll bring this and I’ll be nice and cozy.”

I tried to explain to him that Old Brown Blankey is very fragile and suggested he bring New Brown Blankey. This did not go over well. Back and forth we went. I was standing my ground because this is why we have the New Blankey, to protect the Old Blankey. He did not see it this way. I took the blanket and showed him all the stitches that had been made to fix Old Blankey’s boo-boos. He stormed off to his room and faced his door with his arms crossed in front of him, not looking at me.

“Come on, bud, we gotta go. Please put your arm in,” I pleaded holding the jacket open for him.

“No.”

“Jonas, honey, we’re late. Come on.”

There was a pause and then he turns to look at me with this look of triumph in his face and says with the smallest of smirks,

“I’ll put my jacket on if I can bring Old Brown Blankey.” The sentence was laced with threads of “I got you now, woman.”

Long story short, while I commended his efforts I came out ahead in the bargain by way of promising the last banana if he put his jacket on and took New Brown Blankey.

3 minutes later he tripped on my sister-in-law’s drive way and skinned his knee and was happy to have any blankey he could get his hands on.

*********************************

Inappropriate

Pandora is awesome for setting the mood for those intimate moments with your lover. Except for when an ad for Kraft Macaroni in Cheese Bowls comes on with the tag line, “Perfect for nights like tonight.”

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