Improving the mythos

I feel sorry for people that don’t “lie” to their kids about Santa. Look what they’re missing out on:
 
Marcoda 
OH! Jaden asks me this morning: “Does Santa just, y’know, fall from the sky and land on our roof?”
 
Jessie  
Ha! Parachuting Santa!
 
Marcoda 
I just kind of looked at her and thought “Ok, I may have bombed the whole nativity thing, but I thought we had the Santa and his sleigh thing down.”
 
Jessie 
Has she not heard of Rudolph?
 
Marcoda 
So I told her, “No, Jaden, that’s what the sleigh’s for. Or are you thinking he’s jumping off the sleigh and parachuting down yelling, “BONZAI!” and she giggled and said, “Yes!”
In conclusion, Santa parachutes and never lands which actually makes more sense than a sleigh landing on a roof
 
Jessie 
Her version of Santa is so much cooler and bada$$ than most people’s version.
Navy Seal Santa.
 
Marcoda 
I know, right?
 
Jessie 
I can see his sleigh playing Danger Zone when he jumps out.
And he’s wearing aviater sunglasses.
 
 Marcoda 
ha! Exactly! With a cigar hanging out of his mouth. Coat sleeves cut off.
 
Jessie 
Oh man, Jaden has made Christmas a million times better. Tell her thank you for me.
 
Marcoda 
dude! I just googled “Navy Santa” and one of the results is a guy skydiving!
And I will pass on the message
 
Jessie 
Dude!
Please tell her this is true! Don’t ruin it with the whole landing on the roof crud.
  
Marcoda 
I won’t!
 
Santa
“Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas, bitches!”
 
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