Flashback

Potty Training my kids is like a Minnesota Spring: full of false hope and broken promises with giants piles of crap all over the damn place. Man, I was all excited, even though I told myself not to be, about Jonas’ sudden interest in potty training. Perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself again when I say, “Kid as NO interest in potty training at all, the little stinker.” It’s just that with him taking the initiative to go potty on his own not once but a few times, I thought maybe he would get to it faster than Jaden? Alas, no.

1. He’s in complete denial that he’s messy at all. Tonight’s episode:

“Jonas, do you stink?”

“No, I not stink!”

“Yeah, you do. You stink!”

“No! I not!”

“Jonas, did you poop?”

“No.”

“Yeah, you got a stinky tushy.”

“No! I don’t!”

“Yes, you do!”

“No! I don’t!”

“Jonas has a stinky butt, stinky butt. Jonas has a stinky butt.”

“No! I don’t!”

“Yes, you do!”

“No, I don’t!”

“Yes, you do!”

ad nauseum because at this point his adamant denial if the obvious is hilarious so I totally egg him on.

2. He has a sudden and fierce objection to us changing his diaper at all. He screams and yells and sobs and insists he doesn’t need or want his diaper changed. “No! No change!” “C’mon, Jonas, you’re wet. We have to change you.” “No change!”

3. Come near him not with any adorable and cute Mickey Mouse underpants. If any underpants are to be offered they’d best be plain white Gerber Cloth Training Pants. But chances are, even if he says he wants to wear underpants the next morning, the sun will rise accompanied by the quiet yet firm, “No underpants. Diaper.”

4. Any probing on potty use needs will be met with an equally firm, “No potty.”

In conclusion: he’s just as stubborn as everyone else in the family. Fortunately, the majority of us are housebroken. Even the dog is getting the hang of this thing. Sure, it took ripping up the carpet and getting all new floors but the point remains valid.  Say, there’s an idea. What’s the equivalent for toddler?

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