Bon Voyage, Bitches

The Prep

Except for the house and re-packing our bags, we’re all set.

By this time (4:05pm CST) my husband and I will be checking our bags and then heading towards security.

I can’t believe this is happening. It’s so surreal. I’ve compared this trip count-down to pregnancy, and that feeling is still strong. I know it’s happening, we’ve been planning and saving and writing check lists and buying supplies and tomorrow’s The Big Day.

It sure doesn’t feel like it. Don’t get me wrong, please, I’m BEYOND excited for this. Two years we’ve planned for this. You can see how it’s a little unbelievable to me to think that the day is finally here, well, tomorrow it will be but you know what I mean.

The Guilt

Thanks to my daughter’s behavior over the last week or so, the Guilt has subsided a bit. Ok, the meds have helped, too, and Matt. But really, Jaden’s been pulling out all the Not Listening Stops and it’s beyond frustrating. I know she’s acting out because the Big Day is looming but that doesn’t make me any less angry when she blatently pisses me off. I’m really hoping tonight and tomorrow go smoothly because if we have a repeat of yesterday (which culminated with me sobbing in my bedroom because I was just tired of trying with her followed by Matt suggesting I go lay down with her, which I did and oh, did that help a lot. She’s so sweet when’s she’s sleeping.)…I don’t know what will happen other than me yelling, “Bye, J!” and slamming the car door at the air port. Trust me: No one wants that. This morning was very very good so I’m holding out hope that we’ll be ok.

Jonas? Oh, he’s just fine. No idea that we’re leaving for two- plus weeks. As far as he knows, he’ll just be spending some more time with his grandparents. Maybe his way of acting out is by saying new words all the time just to prove mommy and daddy wrong and make us feel guilty about missing all the words he’ll say while we’re gone. The punk.

I’m really going to miss my squishy kids. It’s going to be great talking to them on Skype. They’re going to freak.

The Freedom

Last night, as we were finishing up the packing, I sighed and said, “I cannot wait to eat cheese and drink beer with you.” Matt seemed concerned, “And other things, I hope.”  “Well, yes, of course,” I reassured him, “but what I mean is, I can’t wait to be able to sit at a little table in the middle of a city I’ve never been to and not have to worry about getting home to relieve the sitter or having to get up at 6am with the kids while nursing a hang over. Not having to worry about anything.”

This is big. I’ve focused so much on all the terrible things that could happen while we’re gone that I wasn’ t able to see all of the simple and extraordinary things we’re going to do and see together. Last night it finally hit me: I’m going on my honeymoon with my husband and only my husband.

It’s going to be amazing and it’s about damn time.

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One Response

  1. You’re a lucky couple, my parents just went on their honeymoon this year…19 years after their wedding day. Congrats and have a wonderful time…take lots of pictures and i’m oober jealous…and everything will be fine with the kiddos!

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