live blogging (do people still do that?) (I do.)

So…. I’ll post the whole story later. Probably. But long story short: my wallet and ipod were stollen. I’m 29 years of age and had to borrow money from my mom to buy food for my family. OH! and i’m drinking now.

Let’s see what happens.

First off: Watching FRIENDS, people, and it has been a-fucking-while. This urge came on around…oh, let’s say 3am last night/morning when my mind was wandering after bringing The Boy (Jonas) into our bed and hours of n0n-sleep my mind had led me down the path of Sitcom Guilt. You heard me: Sitcome Guilt. This means, “Wow, these people worked hard for this and I pledged undying loyalty. And it’s been years……”

What was I talking about?

I dunno but here I am: FRIENDS. Wine. Shot of Vodka. And a laptop.

You are welcome.

Or maybe (more accurately) I’m sorry for all that follows.

Or maybe maybe…just maybe….I’m a funny drunk. Let’s see…………………….SHALL we?

Really, this is live blogging a Friends episode that aired before Blog was a verb.

Am I funny yet?

Ross…OY…until you’re a giraffe inMadagascar, SHUT UP.

Phoebe is so damn cute, signing for the racecar bed. (Jessie, next pregnancy, TALULA) (Current pregnancy: Chandler Vernon….just saying.)

DAMN YOU, JOEY TRIBIANNI! You and your Eye-brow Raising Skill.

I can’t raise one eye brow at a time. I CAN squint one eye at a time. Thank you, Gramma [maiden name]. That and your Neck Mole have served me awesomely. (awesomely is in WordPress’s spell check. AWESOME.)

Remember when you missed my updates?

Awhile back, my FIL inadvertently found my blog. If you’re still reading this: please tell your wife that, although I appreciate the gesture, just because it’s my size it doesn’t mean I will wear it. Save your money, PLEASE. Or just give it to Lupus yourself.

I want a race car bed.

AND! Disc 2.

There is one person that I remember who watched Friends with me purely because he was my friend and who also likes Friends. Jason. I miss you. Come over soon and watch with me soon, please.

I love Phoebe. Phoebe and Chandler are my favorites. Who are yours?

Monica’s pretty awesome, to0.

The rest can just suck it.

Especially you, Joey Tribianni. You and you’re eye brow lifting skills.

“I’ll get Rainy Day Bear!”

I’m sorry, Rachael, for ever denying your wisdom.

What’s depressing? googling “I’ll get Rainy Day Bear!” and not receiving ANY Friends quotes in the first Google Results page.

i love you, Google, but you’ve pissed me off.

Seriously. “I’ll get Rainy Day Bear FRIENDS” brought back as the first result.

I’m kind of torn right now.

EW!!! Janice is gross and doesn’t deserve Chandler. GO TOWARDS THE LIGHT, CHANDLER, GO TO MONICA!

Goddamn, but I hate Janice. All those feelings are coming back.

HA!! “If you’re alive, you answer your phone!”

I love you, Phoebe.

“Monica Bang!”

“That’s right! That’s what I’d sound like if I exploded!” Ok, Monica is back to Marcoda’s Favorite.

Know why I’m live blogging my drunkeness?

ONLY MY FRIENDS (and mom.) READ THIS (possibly Bob.)

So, yeah. Sometimes we blog to feel like we matter. Is that wrong?


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