3 Shots

I just got back from the dentist and, boy, is my jaw tired! (ba-dum-dum). And want to hear something shocking? I over-reacted yesterday. I guess it would be “over-anxietied” since there wasn’t anything to react to at that time. Let me recap the experience, as you’re all dying to know.

Matt dropped me off and brought the kids to his mom’s while I marched into the clinic like the brave little soldier I am. I was called back by the same lovely dental assistant/hygenist that helped me last time and who also helped Jaden when she went in. “Your little girl is so cute,” she said first thing, “Her eyes and her face are just sparkling.” (Oh, Dental Hygenist has some sort of adorable accent. Greek maybe? So imagine that accent.) “And she is so polite. You and your husband have done such a good job with her.” “Ah, thanks.” Woman knows how to get on my good side, let me tell you.

After she was done gushing over my adorable daughter, I told her I was really scared and didn’t want to feel or see anything. She said, “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. I’ll be right here.” Flashbacks to every trip we’ve taken Jaden to where she was scared and I said those exact words to comfort her. And I realized something: that’s a load of bull shit! So what if you’re there! Are you going to have the tooth pulled for me? THAT would make me feel better.

Then she told me to just close my eyes if I get too nervous and try to relax. Not exactly the solution I was looking for which was, “Here, we’ll just put this mask over your mouth and nose and soon you’ll be singing with The Beatles.” I signed something that said they’re not responsible if my jaw breaks or if part of my face becomes permanently numb (not kidding) then Dr. Lady Dentist came in. She went over the procedures: “First we’ll fill the chipped tooth then we’ll extract the wisdom tooth.” She tipped my chair back, looked me in the eyes and…

You know what she asked me?

Go on, guess.

“Would you like to do the filling without Novocaine? There shouldn’t be too much drilling.”

Drilling?? I frantically shook my head and she said, “So, no Novocaine?” Seeing we could go back and forth with the head shaking/misinterpreting thing all day I said, “I’m really really scared and don’t want to feel anything.”

That bitch got me my motherfucking Novocaine. And, hey, that hurt! And I started to panic because I could feel the one side of my face go numb but not the other side which was the side the damn tooth was going to be pulled from. I mentioned this to Dental Assistant with golden threads of panic woven into my calm muslin voice. (You like that?) “Oh, that’s ok. The bottom has more nerves so you will feel it go numb. The top will feel normal but don’t worry. It is numb and Dr. Lady Dentist will test it before she extracts the tooth.”

OK, cool.

Oh, back up a second.

As they were putting the novacaine in….I cried. Yes. I cried like a little girl. Well, not really. Just one tear from each eye, dripping down from my lids that were squeezed shut in every effort NOT to cry. Dental Assistant saw this (obviously) and asked if I was ok and I said, “I’ve never done this before so I’m really scared.” (How many times did I tell them I was really scared? A lot. And yet not once was any happy gas offered to me.) She was very sweet and told me I was doing great and it’ll be really quick.

Dr. Lady Dentist came back and asked how I was doing and Dental Assistant told her it was my first time having dental work done and I sort of nervously laughed and said, “I’ve had two kids and this is scaring me to death!” She laughed too and said, “I hear that from women all the time. You’re completely normal. This is going to be a really easy extraction, don’t worry.”

Tell that to my clenched fists whose fingers are so intertwined you can’t tell which ones belonged to which hand.

She filled the tooth which was nothing. Over and done, moving on.

She tested the wisdom tooth to make sure the Novocaine had kicked in, saying something about how she wasn’t going to give me a shot behind the tooth unless we needed to. “Bull shit! You’re not holding out on me now, woman!” She pushed on my tooth and I felt it! I whimpered and she gave me the damn third shot of Novocaine.

Then she pulled the tooth.

That was it?

That’s what everyone was warning me about?

Ok, I know that wasn’t what everyone else went through because you have all been so kind in telling me about what everyone went through. So my case was an anomaly, yes.

I called Matt who picked me up. While I was waiting for him I was thinking, “Man, that was nothing. I can totally go to work. My mouth doesn’t hurt at all.”

Then I remembered the three shots of novacaine.

I think I’ll hang out at home for a little bit until they wear off.

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One Response

  1. I’m a dental work expert. Always get the novacaine. ALWAYS get the gas (unless it’s just a cleaning), and always try to get the pain meds. I could probably buy a new car with all of the dental work I’ve had done. Sad.

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