The Mom Bag

Hey, guess what!

I’m a mom!

Guess what that means!

I have to carry a lot of shit with me.

But not all the time.

Most of the time I’m away from the house and my kids.

(I’m going to ignore the lump in my throat at that thought)

This duel life makes things a little tricky.

I need a bag that can easily make the transition from Schnazzy Business Woman to Power Mommy and Wife.

The Solution:

[insert choir song)Nine West. Black. Sleek. Beautiful. Now I’m not one to get all ga-ga for a name brand. I am, however, one to get all ga-ga for a name brand that’s all MSRP’d for $60 but I only pay $24.99 for.

People, I LOVE this bag. Repeat: LOVE THIS BAG. Now, I know ya’ll don’t know me that well but I’ll have you know that I don’t gush about silly girl things like purses or shoes or dresses. I just lied to you there. I have gushed about shoes and dresses (too lazy to look up the post I did both those on. Go look them up yourself, you lazy bastard.)

(I’ve been drinking wine.)

Now is my chance to gush about a purse. This isn’t a “purse”, though. This is a miracle bag. You’ve seen how beautiful and versatile and all “goes with everything” it is (She’s beautiful, right?) but let’s look inside to really see what makes this bag so wonderful.

A plethera of crap

A plethera of crap

You may think you see what you think you see (what?) but let’s examine a little closer.

My friends, this is all that was in my bag WITH ROOM TO SPARE when I got home from work today:

Items in The Bag

1) clockwise from the top: Money purse thing that’s mostly filled with plastic stuff including bank cards (both active and expired), driver’s license and library card (I should really use that more); pink comb to keep my lovely locks stick straight, pack of fruit snacks left over from the “stock up on snacks in order to keep Jaden’s attention during “Monsters vs Aliens” scheme yesterday.

2) clockwise from the top: awesome coupon organizer from etsy (I call him Chef Whale) already filled with lots of happy savings; hoop earrings I took off last week when my delicate ears started to hurt me; calculator (I probably could’ve turned it face side up now that I think about it);  Monkichi my ipod and the accompanying ear buds.

3) clockwise–ok, you get the idea: notebook thing left over from “branding” initiative at work that I keep links, podcast suggestions I have yet to check out, LISTS, and other such nonsense in; non-organic on-sale spaghetti that was bought but not needed for dinner tonight; purse-size umbrella (cute but a little tiny for any big storms).

4) clockwise, again: checkbook that I never use for any reason except setting up checking account info on-line (securely); ipod cozy made by Jess that’s currently housing panty liners; Burt’s Bees something or other lip balm (pomegranite?); secret coupon

5) clockwise one last time: former coin purse/current bill holder; spare deodorant applied while hiding in Jessie’s cube or any other time I realize I forgot to put it on at home (this is why I purchased a four pack at costco. Dove’s Cucumber fresh thing. It’s awesome. I love it. Go buy some.); random Jonas sock I took off during last week’s walk that didn’t make it out of the bag (until tonight); empty container that used to house raisins but were eaten at The Movie yesterday.

And did I mention there was TONS OF ROOM TO SPARE*??

Go get yourself a Mom Bag. Even if you’re not a mom. You can’t possilbly carry enough stuff with you. You’re a girl. And if you’re a man, go buy a giant bag for your wife/girlfriend. You’ll benefit too as she’ll be able to carry your phone, wallet, baby, ipod, game boy, and ALL of her makeup which means she’ll always look pretty. And then you can flaunt her all around town at all the fancy places. Bag=pretty=fancy meals=lovin’.

Whee! Mom Bag!

Whee! Mom Bag!

*Even with a bottle of wine. Not pictured but proven.

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