Pestilence. Plague. Pandemic. Poop.

Anyone else freaked out by this whole “Swine Flu” thing? Part of me thinks, “Man, there was that whole Bird Flu thing a while back that never went anywhere. Calm down.” But most of me is all, “ZOMBIES! MONKEY VIRUS! DEATH!”


I have a fear. A deep seeded fear. Even deeper and more intense than my fear of the Dark. Although, one could say that my fear of the Dark is a metaphor for my fear of the Unknown or, more accurately, the Uncontrollable.


If a pandemic breaks out and stretches its evil little fingers across the globe (the definition of a pandemic, really), how can I protect my family from it? I can’t. That’s how.


One could make the argument that I can’t protect them from a random drive-by shooting either. But I can take steps towards eliminating the possibility: we live in a nice, safe suburb with virtually no violent crime. We don’t take the kids a-wondering around bad areas of the city at night. We try not to flash gang signs out the window. Well, I don’t. Matt, on the other hand, has been flashing signs at the elderly hoping they’ll flash one in return. Solidarity?


A virus, though? Think how fast a common strain of the flu passes from one to the next. We’re not talking about the regular crappy ass flu. We’re talking about some crazy ass super flu that’s already passed from Swine to Humans (and could head to birds and back again). People always talk about how similar our make up is to pigs. Is this just further proof for us? Dude, nature, we get it! Pigs are our brothers. I’ll stop eating bacon, just leave my babies alone!


Mexico, people. MEXICO! That’s where it originated. This isn’t some far flung country across the globe from us (not that I’m saying their suffering is any less than ours. But we’re focusing on me and my Crazy right now.). This is our neighbor. Our neighbor that our President just came back from visiting. This morning I freaked out thinking, “Did he bring something back with him? What about his little girls? I don’t think they went with him but if he brought something back, could they get it?”


Australia is reporting cases from people who recently visited Mexico. New York has some cases, too.


They say most people recover and all is well with them. But hundreds of people (100s of people) are being hospitalized for it as we speak. 100s may not seem that much when we’re looking at a global population of 6.77 billion. Tell that to those mothers who are sitting by their children’s hospital bed praying for recovery. Or those families shut inside their home afraid to go out and get food for their healthy children for fear they’ll bring something home.


I know the flu isn’t anything like the crazy diseases that spread through “Outbreak” or “The Stand” where there are growths on bodies and people are vomiting black bile from deep within their intestines. Visually, it’s not as horrific.


Dead is dead though.


That is my biggest fear: not being able to do anything while I watch my husband or my babies die in front of my eyes.


Ok, I guess I have a bigger, less realistic fear: fighting off a zombie attack.


I fecking hate zombies.


2 Responses

  1. crazy scary…i agree

  2. So Amaya heard about the swine flu this morning on the news…she started crying and freaking out saying “I’m gonna die???”…i couldn’t get her to calm down…dude when your 8 year old daughter is panicking….well it just sucks

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