Why Jess should be a wedding planner and why I go to Mr. Bingmar for all my problem solving

Jess says:Ok, I need your imagination for a moment.

Marcoda says:That’s a tall order.

Jess says:You know that easter grass stuff you can buy for easter baskets?

Marcoda says:Yes

Marcoda says:Was that it?

Jess says:No, there’s more!

Jess says:Because that would be weird, otherwise…

Jess says:Now imagine you have five pounds of the stuff.

Marcoda says:That’s NOT weird?

Jess says:Ok, now imagine you have little glass sphere-like bowls that are about six inches in diamater.

Jess says:25 of them, to be exact.

Jess says:…maybe 30.

Marcoda says:Ok….

Jess says:And now imagine you wanted to half-fill the spheres with the grass. Do you think five pounds would be enough?

Marcoda says:I have no idea

Marcoda says:And what the hell are you up to?

Jess says:I’m taking a tiny work break to work on Aurora’s wedding centerpieces.

Marcoda says:That’s really more of a volume question than a weight question

Jess says:Yeah, unfortunately it’s sold in five pound bags. For some reason.

Marcoda says:That’s weird and I would ask Matt.

Marcoda says:I will do that

Jess says:Thank you. It’ll be quite pretty… She’s going with ivory, pink and gold. Ivory table cloths with gold overlays, and the glass spheres with shiney pink grass and gold-foiled hershey kisses. And tea lights around the spheres.

Marcoda‘s email to Mr. Bingmar: So, Matt, what do you think? Is 5 pounds enough for this endeavor?

Mr. Bingmar: How deep are the bowls?  Do you have a scale to weigh out what you might need.  I would think that being that grass stuff weighs next to nothing, 5 pounds should be enough.  Buyer Beware…Keep it away from your cats.  They will eat it and they will poop it out.  However, when they poop it out, the string won’t come out and when they go to walk out of the little box, they will get spooked by the fact that their poop is following them, go tearing off into your living room or bedroom trying to out run the poo only to end up flinging it into an area where you may A. Step on it, B. Never find it again until the odor takes over, or C. find one of your other cats playing with it.


Jess says: Oh my god, you’re speaking from experience, aren’t you? Ha!

Mr. Bingmar: Yes, but more from Christmas tinsel…Same effect but shinier!  When the cat runs by you they glitter and sparkle.

Jess says: What a strangely beautiful image…

Marcoda says: You both scare me.


One Response

  1. i need more conversations like this to take place either in work or home…my life is too dull.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: