All in a normal morning at the Bingmar Home

Alarm went off at 5:35. I hit snooze and performed a quick mental survey on the nastiness level of my body but fell asleep before the results came in. Alarm went off 9 minutes later and I resumed the scan. Result: Sleep is more important than clean hair. Plus I wore barrettes last night and they were quite cute. Problem solved. Sleeeeeeeep.

 

Peeled Jonas off the crook of my arm and dragged my butt out of bed around 5:57. Stumbled around in the dark bedroom using non-serviced cellphone/alarm clock light to locate bra, underwear, pants, socks and really wrinkled but oh so cute polo shirt with adorable embroidered owl. Head to bathroom to get dressed (except shirt) and comb hair (LOVE my hair cut. So easy.) and put in barrettes. Feed cats and iron shirt. Fully dressed now and looking adorable and not at like the gross lady who didn’t shower this morning.

 

“Dang, I’m hungry. I’ll break routine and grab a quick bowl of cereal.”

 

Yum.

 

6:33 and Time to wake the family!

 

Standing in the hall between the master bedroom and J’s room, I lean to the left and open our bedroom door: “Time to get up, sweetie.” I call to Matt. I lean to the right and open Jaden’s door, “Time to get up, J-bird.”

 

Leave them alone for a couple minutes to wake up while I pick out Jonas’ clothes for the day: dark red lounge pants, stripey blue-grey-red long sleeve shirt under super cute dark blue onesie with hand drawn space scene.

 

Back to Jaden’s room: “Hey, J-bird.” I sit softly on the edge of her bed and caress her face. “Do you want to wear your owl shirt today?”

 

“No, I want to wear jammies.”

 

**Jaden has been sleeping in just her underwear the last few weeks. Meaning, after her bath she’ll put her jammies on but at bedtime she takes them off. Which means her request is to put jammies on for the day, not just stay in her jammies. Because she’s not currently wearing any.**

 

“Ok,” thinking quickly I suggest she wear her owl shirt and her black jammie bottoms (yoga pants).

 

“I want to wear my bedtime owl shirt,” she counter offers.

 

“Ok,” I say then retrieve the articles of clothing from her room and I suggest the following: “How about this: You wear your green owl shirt under your blue bedtime owl shirt like this.” Lay the green shirt under the blue shirt to demonstrate.

 

“Yeah!”

 

“OK!” Deal struck, I carry her into the bathroom to go potty and then pluck sleepy head Jonas out of our bed while Matt gets himself dressed.

 

I’m holding the cute little chub of a boy while I argue with Jaden about wiping her butt and getting dressed and I start to feel something wet. I ignore it and continue my discussion with Jaden. Because I’m an idiot.

 

After giving up on Jaden for the time being I bring Jonas into his room to get him dressed. This is when I am no longer able to ignore the wet feeling because from my left boob down to my waist, I’m covered in urine.

 

“GAH! MATT! HELP!”

 

Jonas is also covered in urine, his jammies soaked and his body wet. Still panicking over the urine soaked shirt I’m wearing, I call again to Matt, “MATT! Come help me! There’s pee every where!”

 

I peel off Jonas’ clothes and still no Matt. Carrying the diapered but otherwise naked baby into the bathroom I scream, “MATTHEW!! Get in here and help me!”

 

He comes in (finally) and I ask him to clean Jonas while I deal with my own nastiness.

 

It’s now 6:45 and I’m freaking out on all levels because we have to be out the door in ten minutes and instead of ½ the family being dressed, we’re down to a quarter dressed.

 

Off goes my gross shirt, wipe myself off with a wash cloth and then layer a striped long sleeve shirt under a plain pink/salmon short sleeved shirt. And now I have to change my socks because they no longer match.

 

What? I’m not wearing makeup either? The hell!

 

Threaten fowl evil things to Jaden to encourage her to wash her hands and then get dressed. Put on eyeliner and mascara and brush teeth while getting Jaden’s damn shirts on.

 

“GAH! It’s 7! Everyone out!!”

 

Jackets, shoes, car seat, lunches (“No, Jaden, you may NOT bring your matchbox cars to grammas.”) and out we go!

 

“Quick into the car!”

 

Matt and I both open the passenger doors and simultaneously discover that the car seats have not been put back in the car after taking them out Monday night.

 

And hey! Look outside! It’s SNOWING.

 

Poop and double poop.

 

Ater all that: I still made it to work on time. I deserve ice cream.

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