Of poop and things

I’ve been daydreaming about being a stay at home mom. Being able to teach my kids their numbers and letters, being able to feed them what I want them to eat, being able to cuddle with them whenever I want.

Today is day one of my 5 day stint at a stay at home mom while MIL is on Jury Duty. My daydream is a very stinky reality.

Just a taste of what happened the last 15 minutes, I just heard Jaden (who is in the bathroom making the “biggest poop in the whole wide world) say, “Come on, little poops.”

Back up 15 minutes: We were all happily eating lunch. The kids were, anyway, I have been battling an “icky” feeling in my stomach all day so I was forcing down some toast and sharing a pear with Jaden. Jonas was nearing the end of his cereal and getting all fussy. I figured it was time for a nap. So I picked up and “WHOO! Boy, you stink. Let’s go change you.”

I laid him on the changing and felt something squishy on my fingers.

ON MY FINGERS.

The answer to the question, “After over 3.5 years of changing, seeing and smelling poop covered clothes, doesn’t one get used to it?” is NO. No no no no no.

It was everywhere. I’m cleaning it as best I can off his back and feet and legs and trying to keep his hand (and mine) out of it and Jaden is just fascinated. “Jaden, please, get out of here and go finish eating.”

She doesn’t go eat. Instead I hear her in the bathroom. “Jaden! What are you doing?”

“I’m just going potty!”

“Oh, ok.” And I thanked the potty training gods for blessing us with a potty trained child because I couldn’t deal with anymore poop.

Jonas is cleaned and in his crib with a pacifier and I bring his clothes in the bathroom where I smell something nasty.

“Jaden? Are you done going potty?”

“Nope! I’m not done peeing and pooping yet!”

“ok, well let’s get on with it.” and I proceed to rinse of Jonas’ clothes while Jaden informs me that her big poop is a secret and a surprise.

“No, J, I really don’t need to see it, sweetie. Just hurry up and go.”

“Well, Daddy can see it when he comes home.”

“No, really, daddy doesn’t need to see it. We’re just going to flush it away.”

“But it’s a big circle poop! And a surprise!” If you could hear the pride in her voice and see the giant grin…

“Jaden, poop is one of those things we don’t need to show people. Like nipples.”

Explanation: This morning I was in the bathroom (Fully clothed) and Jaden annouced she liked my nipples and demanded to see them while trying to pull up my shirt. Deciding then and there she was past the age where seeing my nipples is “ok”, I explained that there are some parts of our bodies that we don’t show people and nipples are two of those parts.

And I haven’t even told you about the numerous battles of will Jaden and I have had. Or the numerous tissues of snot Jaden keeps using. Or the spitting up on Jonas’ part…

It’s 12:24 and I’m exhausted and in desperate need of a shower.

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4 Responses

  1. I absolutely LOVE my children but i SUCK at being a stay at home mom. Its not that i dont have the patience but rather the lack of imagination. I enjoy TRUELY enjoy missing my children at the end of the work day and racing to daycare to see them 🙂 And as adorable as your son is i realized this weekend that i am NOT ready for three kids (my niece almost was murdered in my house by me…then again by her mother)…nope two for now is just swell(2.5 if you include steven…what a rough first week its been)….well have fun you smelly SAHM you 🙂

  2. Oh my goodness you crack me up. I think staying home OR working outside the home when you have young children is challenging; each have their own set of, well, issues. As you know, I’m a stay at home mom. There is not a day when I don’t feel like my head is going to spin off my shoulders, express great disgust with the increasing amounts of bodily fluid that somehow make it onto MY body, and wish everyone would stop touching me/needing me for just 2.5 seconds so I could go to the bathroom unaccompanied or do any other number of things that non moms take for granted. Hang in there!

  3. Found your blog from PW – how funny. As a semi SAHM to my five, including triplets – I can totally relate to the days of poop-fests. Aww – the memories.

    Delurking to say hello.
    Jo

    http://www.teensandtriplets.blogspot.com

  4. Thanks for not saving it for me to see what I got home. I really do appreciate that!

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