2 points! 5 points! Wait, did you poop or pee?

It occured to me that some of you may be wondering how the whole Potty Training Jaden Thing is working out. Two words: It’s not.

I don’t know what her deal is but she is not phased at all by the nastiness that is wet/dirty pullups. Honestly I think she gets a sick satisfaction from the fact that the two people that control her meals and bedtime also have to wipe her ass. She’s a sly one, that Jaden. We’d been resigned to the fact that she’ll be potty trained when she’s ready. Recently Matt and I both said, “fuck that. Enough of this shit. You’re using the damn toilet.” I’m a little ashamed to admit that we’ve tried yelling, we’ve tried bribing, we’ve tried shaming (“all your friends are potty trained”). Wouldn’t ya know the girl will not be bribed or shamed. Part of me is proud that she’s not so easily swayed by candy and peer pressure but the louder more frustrated part is all, “TAKE THE CANDY AND POOP ON THE POTTY ALREADY.”

People, we even put the damn potty chair in the livingroom so she could sit on it while she played.

What seems an eternity ago (and, really, in potty training terms April is a long freaking time ago) Jessie made Jaden an awesome potty training book. People would pay good money for something like this. I went out and got a bunch of stickers. AFter two-three months of the book, we shelved it. Perhaps we didn’t hold out long enough. Perhaps she just didn’t like stickers anymore.

Perhaps Matt was just waiting to have his brilliant epiphany for when I was truly done trying so he could ride in and be the hero. He’s very spiteful that way.

His brilliant idea? Points. We dug out the ol’ Potty Training book and now, instead of stickers, we award or take away points using the following system:

Dry pull-up: +1

Wet/dirty pull-up: -1

Pee/poop in the potty at home: +2/+5

Pee/poop in the potty at Gramma’s: +5/+10

Peep/poop in the potty in public: Pony. Just kidding. +10/+20

We’ve been using this system for 3 days now and when all is said and done she was at 30 points this morning. So far the points system seems to be working. It’s not all on her shoulders, we have to be dilligent as well. Every hour or so we’re asking her to go use the potty and get some more points. Sometimes she cooperates, sometimes she doesn’t. Once she pooped in the potty (!) and twice she pooped in her pants (!!). Such is Jaden. She’ll do things her way, dammit, points or no points.

But so far, the points are working. It is way too early to count this as a win but, once again, I’m cautiously optimistic. Please dear spirits, gods, God, Buddah, goddesses, Moses, Ganesha and everyone else I missed: PLEASE let this point system click and let Jaden be completely out of pull ups by the New Year. If ya’ll can make that happen, I’ll buy you a pony.


3 Responses

  1. it will happen, all of the sudden one day you’ll realize “holy crap my daughter is potty trained” …its truely amazing 🙂 but then comes the potty dance and reminding them to GO POTTY!!! heh…tyson hasn’t had any accidents but when I see him being busy and doing his dance i have to remind him! It will happen …have faith Kemosobee 🙂

  2. I can’t help you much since I’m pretty sure we’ve got a little potty control freak on our hands here, too. Ours is a little younger than yours so maybe we’re just a bit too eager, but I do feel your pain. My husband and I are still laughing about the “you can’t see poop on my face” quote. Like I’ve said before she’s a real smarty poopy pants. And, P.S., poopy pull-ups are especially disgusting. Blech.

  3. Gawd! The poopy pull ups are the WORST!!!

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