None of your business!

But I’ll share with you anyway: My boobs hurt. I decided Saturday night to stop with the whole pumping thing. It had taken over my life. It’s one thing nursing directly and then pumping only at work but to be hooked up to that friggen fraggen machine 5 or 6 times a day…I’m out!

Man, last night was PAINFUL. You know how in Death Becomes Her, Meryl Streep is talking to the plastic surgery girl and says, “You stand there in your 22 year old body and your tits like rocks!” Yeah, my tits are BOULDERS, people. This morning is much better than last night when I couldn’t even hold Jonas because any contact with the outside world cause The Girls to scream out in agony. Even laying down or getting up was a huge production as the milk sloshed around in it’s quickly shrinking containers.

I forgot how paiful this was but the relief is so worth it. No more having to worry about not eating enough good stuff, or whether what I ate is what’s making him scream like that, or remembering how long it’s been since I pumped last or dragging that damn pump all over town…yes, it’ll be good. I already had a moment of joy this morning when I woke up and DIDN’T have to rush and pump and could just enjoy a bowl of cereal before getting ready instead of aiming spoons around tubes and doing my best not to spill milk (mine and the cow’s) all over the place.

I do feel guilty that Matt had to spend $40 on a replacement part. And the whole “breast is best” mantra that seems to follow me everywhere. Enough, Breast People! My baby’s drinking formula from now on so there. Back off!

Farewell, 34D boobs and welcome back 34A+/B- boobs. Until we meet again. Which will be never. So, yeah, bye-bye!

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One Response

  1. Ouchie ouchie ouchie! I never experienced that pain since Claire weaned over a few months; however, your description of it makes me cringe. As you well know, I am one of those Breast is Best fanatics, but unless I were to walk a mile in your shoes (or shall we say spend a day attached to your pump), I have no right to say what is right for you and your family. Enjoy the return of full ownership of your body!!!

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