We breed wizards, not uglies*

ast Friday was the first Great Debate of 2008 (you have no idea how giddy I was when I came up with that title when transferring our pics from the camera to the computer. “HEE! It rhymes!”) and Matt and I had our whole little family gathered around our little 13 in tv in the basement to watch the festivites. Matt pulled out the hide-a-bed so the kids could sleep if they wanted to while Mommy and Daddy drank wine and gleefully snarked at the tv. At one point Matt asked if we were a family of geeks. He didn’t seem proud but more concerned. “Um, yeah, we’re self proclaimed geeks.” This was after he suggested we dress the kids up as robots and us as scientists for Halloween…

I transcribed conversation snippets and the following was typed on my laptop which is resting on Jaden’s pink little tykes vanity/desk during a rare moment where Jaden is not playing her game. On my computer. (Matt found and installed 4 more games. I’m close to losing my laptop forever.)

Live blogging without the blogging part.

Live blogging without the blogging part.

First let’s introduce the contenders:

My boyfriend

My boyfriend

Jaden has said Barack Obama’s name in the past and so we felt it was time she learn who he is:
Jaden: “That’s Barack Obama? (Yup)  Is he a girl?” (No, he’s a boy.) “Oh…”
This was taken AFTER the kids were asleep.

This was taken AFTER the kids were asleep.

Jaden: (pointing at McCain) “Who’s that? (John McCain.) “John McCain?” Then we tried explaining what we were watching. “You know how mommy and daddy go to work every day? They’re trying to tell us why they should get the job they want.” “Ok, you know how mommy and daddy take care of you and Jonas? One of these men is going to take care of the whole country.” And because everyone should follow the gut instinct of a three year old we asked “Who do you like better?”

“Barack Obama. He’s a good boy.” (We swear we didn’t sway her opinion at all. We simply agreed with her that we like Barack Obama too.)

We originally watched the Debate on CNN but they had this stupid “audience reaction graph” at the bottom that we couldn’t figure out. After too many frustrated “WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS THING MEAN?” outbursts from both of us, Matt remembered that CNN ain’t the only kid on the block and switched to NBC. Aaaaaaaaah. Much better.

An hour into the debates the kids fell asleep, the wine kicked in and our interest waned. Que pictures of sleeping kids holding hands and random snarkiness:

McCain’s vague comparisons of the size of north and south koreans: “The little people will get us all!” “Watch out for the little people!”

Quick question: How come Russia can’t invade a sovereign nation unprovoked but the US can? Why won’t someone bring that up?

Matt: “Obama needs to say, “Plus, I’ve got a box of kittens.” Pulls out a box of kittens from under the podium: “I will give a kitten to Russia, Iran and North Korea.” “

“It’s much less than it was the day after 9/11.”-John McCain on the chances of another 9/11 like attack. Me: “You mean 9/12?”

McCain says “steimie” (we didn’t hear what he was referring to as we were giggling about something else that I can’t remember.) Matt: “Wasn’t Steimie a little rascal? The one with the toad, right?” Me: “What was he saying was steimie? What is steimie?” Matt: “I don’t know.”

Matt: “Obama’s the ultimate African America. Where’s his dad from? Kenya. Where’s his mom from? Kansas. See? Ultimate African American. Ok, other than an actual African Immigrant, he’s the ultimate African-American.”

Then we got really bored and took way too many pictures of plastic fish and the cat and thought every one was hilarious:

The Fish

The Fish

"Yar! I'm Grainbelt McCain!" “Yar! I’m Grainbelt McCain!”

Yes, we still have Polly.

Yes, we still have Polly.

Then suddenly the debate was over and I was able to summarize the whole thing in two sentences:

“You lie! You so voted for it.”

“No you lie! I so didn’t vote for it!”

Post Debate:

I’m a girl: “I don’t like Michelle’s dress. It looks like a 60’s house wife…it’s not very…it’s not a nice pattern.”

“Go back to CNN! Maybe they’ll explain the graph!”

“Ah, the table of analysts with laptops looking so much like a meeting of IT people.”

I wonder What my Word Wizard Helper guy is staring at? He’s looking off into the distance…but he’s on the computer…

Cut to channel surfing which rendered much commentary but after this one:

“’You Be Funky Dream State?’ Dammit. Now I have to rename my penis.”

Everything else fell flat. This one was close: “You can’t turn off R2! That’s like turning off gravity. Wait. They’re in space. Well, you still can’t turn off R2.”

Then came : “I’m watching Nick at Night. I don’t like that.”

Shortly after that we all went upstairs to bed but not before Matt broke his wine glass.

Who says politics is boring?

*Proof: Jaden sleeps with her eyes open sometimes:


4 Responses

  1. Wait a sec, I gave YOU my wine glass and my plate to bring upstairs. I broke YOUR wine glass. You left it in the wrong place. My feet may have failed me, but that glass will never get another chance to fail anybody. R.I.P. Glass!

  2. way to awesome!!! thanks for the update….and dammit i wish i could send pics on my phone (all though you dont have a cell) cuz i could prove that my son too sleeps with his eyes open!

  3. […] my voice and be comfortable with that voice. What kind of blog would this be? Strictly family or current events as well? How much anonymity would I keep? Would I keep a strict structure to each entry or would I […]

  4. […] Wednesday night we did our taxes over at the in-laws (well, Matt did them while I vegged on the couch watching “Man Vs. Food” with FIL) and around 7:30 Jaden asked to put her jammies on. I helped her get them on and watched her wash her hands and I filled right up to the top with pride for her and what a big capable girl she’s become. I kept running out whispering, “She’s so cute!” and “I love her!” to the in-laws. She stayed up for a little longer, migrating between me in the living room and Matt in the office and eventually settled between me and the back of the couch and was soon fast asleep with her eyes half open in that creepy wizarding way she does sometimes. […]

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