Jaden Thursday (Special Friday Edition!) 3 years, 2 months, 4 days

Two things first: 1) I’ve decided that if I call my “late” editions “special editions” no one can call me out for being lazy (or really freaking busy raising the future of the human race but if you want to call it “being lazy” that’s your choice. Commie.). OOH! I just thought of something even better: “Jaden Thursday: Special Labor Day Weekend Edition”. LET THE DOUBLE SPECIALNESS ENSUES! (How many times can one woman hit the space bar and wonder why the fuck the cursor keeps moving instead of getting a capital “E” before realizing the space bar is not the shift key, stupid?*)

2) I just ate the second half of my (rather weak) chicken salad sandwich and when I looked down to crumple up my wrapper I noticed an entire piece of lettuce laying there. Perhaps if I had noticed the lettuce had fallen out and replaced it, the sandwich would’ve been less weak. But I doubt it. Which leads me to my point: I’m ready to go back to work if only because the fast food places in that city know what they fuck they’re doing. My city’s fast food workers just don’t take any pride in their work.

What was this post about again?

Right. First born.

She’s just a jealous girl

Man, things are getting hard on the jealousy front. To be clear: Jaden does not appear to be jealous of Jonas. She loves her brother. This is proven with her many greetings (“Hey, Jonas!”), her general awe of his admiration for her (“He’s looking at me.”) and her concern for his well-being (“Is Jonas just fine?”).

Don't cry

Don't cry

Her jealousy is more of the attention garnished upon Jonas which she does not blame him for. Which is a good thing. Technically. Unfortunately she blames me. Not Matt or Jonas but me. And this is completely understandable. However, just because I understand does not mean I’m at all ok with it. Her defiance seems to be aimed at both parents but leans a little more towards me (or maybe I’m just paranoid. Matt? Any thoughts?). She will either flat out ignore me or stick her tongue out at me (with or without accompanying raspberry). Both aggravate me to no end but it’s the tongue that really gets me going. It’s rude and disrespectful and I’m ashamed to say I slapped that little tongue the other day without even realizing it. Those that know me know that I don’t hit my kids. I just don’t. This slap caught me by surprise as much as it did Jaden. It wasn’t hard and she wasn’t hurt, just shocked that it happened. I followed it up with a lecture of how I’ve told her too many times not to spit because it’s rude and disgusting and she needs to stop it. She hasn’t done it since although the tongue still makes an appearance here and there.

She spent a couple days home with me this week instead of going to Gramma’s so gramma could await the arrive of Annabelle and help out (or something). I love having Jaden home. Mostly. Let me rephrase that: I loved having Jaden home; her attitude could’ve gone out for a drink or something and I would’ve been very much ok with it. By Tuesday afternoon my patience was gone and Jaden and I were at odds completely. Then Matt came home and she was pretty much done with me. Babies require attention and mommies require help sometimes. Even if that help is something as simple as putting your cereal bowl in the sink or coming downstairs instead of crying at the top of the stairs for mommy to come up there. Whatever I asked her to do, she wanted the opposite and I’m sorry but I can’t keep carting baby, blankets, boppy and breast pump all over the damn house.

You can understand why yesterday Jaden was done with me and my heart was breaking. I love her, I love her so much (I’m sure you’ve gathered from past entries) and I’m sorry I can’t give her all the attention and time I did before. While she was at Gramma’s yesterday I decided to stop using Jonas as an excuse and play with Jaden. Jonas doesn’t need me hovering while he’s sleeping. Matt and Jaden came home after work/daycare and I called hello to them from the basement. I put Jonas down and started up the stairs calling for Jaden who was standing in the entryway at the top of the stairs.

“Jaden! Hi, baby! Can you come down here and see me?”

glare

“Baby, what’s wrong? Come here.”

“No.”

“Why not, J? Come here and give me a hug. I missed you today.”

“I’m going to go talk to my daddy.” and she turned and went into the kitchen out of my sight. I sank down in the middle of the stair case and started to cry. I felt like one of those parents in the movies who works all the time and doesn’t have time for her kids but when she decides her kids are more important than any job, it’s too late. The kids don’t need her and are done trying. Only my job right now is tending to a newborn. I felt small and not unlike dirt.

Me too!

Me too!

I sat there for about thirty seconds respecting Jaden’s space and not forcing myself on her. She must’ve figured I’d learned my lesson because she came down the stairs, curled in my lap, gave me a hug and said, “I love you.”

I held her so tight and told her again and again that I loved her too. Then we played Hullabaloo and Wii and trains. Then we had a very nice supper, I gave her a bath and we did bedtime. Her love for me was renewed.

Pre-school is no joke

We all know each kid reacts differently to change. Jaden reacts to change with drama (obviously). Pre-school is still in the “adjusting to” stage. You may recall the tear fest that has played out the last few times we’ve brought her to school. Last night Jaden and I were talking about school and she informed me of all the things she was going to do and “you and Jonas will pick me up.” I told her that was all very true and all seemed well.

Matt was (bravely) going to bring her again this morning but he slept late so I ended up bringing her. She cried when I woke her up but got over it when Matt came in and talked her off the ledge. I told her she could bring one friend to school with her today. She picked Rainbow Blanket and Louie (her frog). I told her she could only bring one. I swear it was Sophie’s Choice up in this house this morning. She decided on Rainbow Blanket and she, Jonas and I were out the door all happy and ready for the day.

Then we got inside the school and she burst into tears: “I want to go home with you! I want my mommy! I want to go home!” and so forth. Throw in some straight desperate clinging to me and you’ve got a nice scene that simultaneously erases any thoughts that your kid has stopped loving you and breaks your heart. The girl is good. Her teacher and I both tried calming her down until finally, I just had to go. She waived tearfully from the window while I gave her the biggest fakest smile ever and waved back. Then I got in the car and cried.

Then I realized I had me a car for the first time in weeks and proceeded to plan a trip to my mom’s.

When I got back home there was a message from J’s teacher saying she was having a good day and she went on the potty all by herself. I was so proud I cried. That’s three times this week she went by herself and 4 times she’s peed. She’s sat on it numerous times so we’re cautiously optimistic about this.

Imagination=monsters

Jaden’s starting to become afraid of her room at night. In response to this we set up her Ugly Dolls as a “Monster Patrol”. Last night she added her Care Bears. I snuck in while she was sleeping and took a picture. She was so precious.

safety in numbers

safety in numbers


All’s well that ends well

We’ve been home from school for an hour and a half. All was going well until I told her if she spilled her water again she wouldn’t get anymore. Her response? She poured her water diliberately on the floor. The carpet to be exact. She’s now on time out in her room.

I still love her though.

*The answer: 4 times.

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2 Responses

  1. you need a mini vacation…thats all i am saying .. 24 hours w/o responsibility…all though i may be selectively partial to this idea only because i got a 68 hour mini vacation from all responsibility 😛 blog to come

  2. […] public links >> patience Jaden Thursday (Special Friday Edition!) 3 years, 2 months, 4 days Saved by mrsmikeyway4ever on Fri 03-10-2008 Family feud is just like a complain at a restaurant […]

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