Jonas’ Birth Story

What have I done to my poor baby boy?? I’ve saddled him with the dreaded “name ending in an ‘S'” and thus have strapped years of apostrophical confusion to his tiny little back. I realized this at 2:30 this morning when I was nursing and mentally drafting this post. Oh well. He’ll just have to live with it and I’ll have to let it go.

Worst intro ever.

I have a neglected cat sitting in my lap, a newborn baby sleeping on the couch (in his boppy, calm down, he ain’t rolling anywhere), a husband out dropping First Born at school (and who left 30 minutes ago so I’m guessing he stopped for coffee. Or stopped at his parents house to hide and sleep.). In short, I figured this is as good a time as any to tell the dramatic and harrowing tale of Jonas’ arrival (dammit! I just messed up the apostrophe. Even I am not immune to its lure.)

Scene: Interior of Bingmar Home. 5am August 4, 2008. After a night of little to no sleep, the Bingmars are making last minute scrambles to gather and get their shit together in order to be out the door at 5:15. They leave at 5:28. Their appointment is at 5:30. Mrs. Bingmar accepts the fact that they’ll be late but it’s 5:30 in the freakin morning so gives her and her hubby a break.

Scene: Interior of Generic Hospital Room (the remainder of the day’s activities will take place in this room). 6am same day. Nurse Barb spends nearly an hour gathering info while Mr. Bingmar freezes in hospital chair and Mrs. Bingmar lays nearly nude under layers of sweltering blankets.

7:05 Dr. comes in and performs quick check and announces I’m at 3cm. After several attempts he breaks my water. Says baby’s head is right there and blocking the opening so the water doesn’t come gushing out but rather trickles gently out. Dr. says he has to head to the clinic but he’ll have the nurse check me in a couple hours to see how I’m progressing on my own. If I’m not progressing they’ll start the pitocin. Matt settles in the hospital chair/recliner to try and get some sleep. Marcoda tries but cannot. Requests Matt put in the first DVD of Scrubs Season 4. Nurse Barb leaves and Nurse Nicole comes in (who’s a doll and super sweet)

8:30 or so, Matt and Marcoda go for a walk. During this walk the contractions get stronger and more consistent. Marcoda is proud of her pain coping skills.

9:00 Matt tracks down a rocking chair for Marcoda. As she rocks (in more than one way. HA!) the contractions get stronger and stronger. Matt comes when her moans get a little louder as that’s his cue. Gives her his hand to squeeze, and squeeze she does.

10:00 Cervix check! 4+cm which means no pitocin! YAY! (nothing against the use of pitocin, it just sucks pain wise because the contractions come right on top of each other.) Estimations on birth time are given and every one agrees baby will probably arrive around dinner time.

From here on out things get more and more painful. Marcoda tries to breath through them while Matt does his best to comfort her and give her his shoulder to lean on (literally). Eventually it becomes to much and she gives in and asks for the epidural. She’s scared to death she’s going to have another hot spot like last time (where the epidural misses a nerve somewhere so even though the actual contractions are less intense feeling, there’s pain elsewhere).

Which is exactly what happens.

11:00: Cervix check! Strong 5 cm. (yay!) Somewhere between 11:30 and noon, the epidural is administered. 5 minutes later Marcoda starts experiences the worst physical pain she has ever felt and will ever feel again.

(I know I have a tendency to overdramatize, but I’m dead fricking serious. Starting at my left hip bone and going down through out my left butt cheek and into my mid-upper thigh was a stabbing/cramping sensation that left me crying and thrashing in the bed and Matt scared to death. He declared at one point that I’m not ever getting pregnant again because this was too much. I told the nurse and she helped me lay on my left side thinking the epidural just needed to be aimed there (or whatever the fuck) but that didn’t work.)

Around 12:45 Matt calls the nurse (which is a different nurse because Nurse Nicole was told to go to lunch since I was only at 5cm. i.e: plenty of time until Baby!) and tells them his wife is in a lot of pain and the nurse comes in. She tries stretching out Marcoda’s leg to determine if it’s cramping or what’s going on. She calls the anesthesiologist who comes in and adjusts the epidural.

1:00 Marcoda feels some strange “pushing” actions on the part of her lower muscles and tells the nurse she feels like she’s going to have bowel movement. The nurse’s demeanor changes and she says she’s going to check the cervix.

Cervix check: COMPLETE.

Marcoda: (stops crying in pain) “Wait. Complete?”

Nurse: “Yup. Complete.”

Marcoda: “Like, complete complete?”

Nurse: “Yup. I’m going to call Dr.”

Matt and Marcoda look at each other in disbelief. Suddenly Marcoda doesn’t feel the pain in her hips anymore because holy shit! It’s Showtime!!

Marcoda: to Matt “Call the moms!”

Matt calls his mom first who asks if Matt and Marcoda want them to bring J to Marcoda’s mom’s so her sisters can watch her or if his dad should stay at home with her. Matt relays this to Marcoda who responds thusly:

“I don’t care! Let them figure it out! Call my mom!!”

Matt relays the message and calls Marcoda’s mom who immediately departs.

Nurse Nicole comes in along with 5 other nurses who are scrambling around getting things ready. Marcoda is put in the stirrups and is instructed to push a little bit if it helps relieve some of the pain. Marcoda is already pushing but not of her own free will. Nurse Nicole and another nurse tell her not to push anymore and just breath through the contractions because “we have to wait for the doctor”. Marcoda says, “I can’t wait. He’s coming.”

(And it’s true. It was the most bizarre sensation. My body completely took over. It was getting that baby out and nobody was going to tell it to hold on. With Jaden I didn’t feel any of that. They told me when to push and I pushed. This time, I felt everything. Even that ring of fire I’d heard so much about. In hind sight, it was pretty fucking amazing and if it didn’t mean actually having another kid to take care of, I’d do it again. Yes, I’m crazy but trust me: it’s the coolest experience.)

Another doctor came in (who’s name I don’t know but I do know she was a woman doctor so at least I was somewhat focused) and helped me focus. Matt had his arms around me and I could feel him giving me strength as I pushed and screamed. Lady Doctor told me not to scream but to focus all that energy into pushing. And I did. After maybe 10-15 minutes of pushing, Jonas came out. Right as Dr came into the room. So Dr missed the main attraction but was there for the closing number.

Jonas Matthew was born at 1:30pm with his cord wrapped around his neck. I didn’t know this until I asked if Matt was going to cut the cord. They told me it already sort of was cut. Well, not really. When Lady Doctor was removing it from around his neck, it kind of broke itself off so they just had to trim it down to size. Point is, when they laid him on my stomach the cord was already off. He was only there for a few seconds before they whisked him away to get his breathing going but in that time he managed to poo on me. That’s my boy.

Matt and I kissed each other fiercely and cried while we watched the nurses clean him up. I couldn’t really see him and couldn’t hear him. All I saw was a slightly blue blob in the warming crib thing so I asked, “Is he ok? I can’t hear him. Is he ok?” And at the exact moment they told me he was ok, I heard the first cry. And I cried some more and told Matt to go see his son. That seemed to shake Matt out of the spell he was under and he grabbed his camera and went to him.

By 2pm I was stitched up (minor tearing, no episiotomy. No time for one!) and Jonas was wrapped up and laying with me. I was holding him and marveling at his slightly blue and very puffy face. Matt went and got the grandmothers who were waiting patiently outside the room.

Around 4 pm Jonas’ godmother came (I guess The Office was more than willing to get her the hell out of there to check on me and get pictures. Threats were involved on their end…) and shortly after Jaden arrived to meet her baby brother.

Her first expression was one of sheer wonder and gentleness. She didn’t want to get too close but was intrigued. “Oh! He’s so tiny. Ooooh, he’s so cute.” We told her his name and she declared it was “a nice name”. She then went about her usual business of being incredibly cute and astounding her parents with her vocabulary, at one point breaking out into song with the Sesame Street Theme (which I didn’t even know she watched.) Eventually she agreed to hold the baby and Matt got her situated on the chair with a pillow and the baby. She was very unsure about the whole thing and only held him for a few seconds before announcing that Daddy could hold him again.

She’s still a little stand offish about him. She’s not mean or jealous (that we can tell) just uncertain about him. She is very concerned when he cries and when he’s sleeping she wants to make sure he doesn’t wake up. At the hospital when we were getting ready to go she was asked to say something to the baby in a video we were taking. She whispered something and when asked to say it louder she said she couldn’t because she didn’t want to wake up the baby. We told her that said it all: She’s a great big sister.

Back to the hospital.

We rested a bit after all grandparents, siblings and godmothers left although we didn’t actually sleep. I was already healing way faster and better than with Jaden and when it came time to move to a new room, I walked myself (even pushing Jonas’ little crib thing myself). For a point of reference: With Jaden I was still having trouble walking and sitting a week after she was born. Jonas’ godfather came around 8pm and he and Daddy got to tag team a very messy diaper change while Mommy laughed from her safe place in bed.

Matt went home around 9 and I didn’t actually fall asleep until 10 or so. I was still riding the adrenaline train and amazed that I was still awake and feeling fine. The nurse brought Jonas in a few times during the night to nurse.

Fast forward to the next morning when Dr came in and announced that since I was doing so well he would have no problem discharging me that evening. (YAY!) Then came the longest day EVER. There was no DVD player in my new room and only day time cable. I had no book because I didn’t think I needed one (because Hi! I brought DVDs to watch!) and Jonas slept a lot. We practiced and practiced getting his latch perfected but he was still having issues by the time we left.

Fast forward again because this is getting boring. More visiting from Grandmothers. Matt came around 5 and waited with me for Dr to come back and do the circumcision. Matt left after that to get Jaden. Nurse came in and threw diapers, wipes, formula and other essential basics for me to take home. Long story short, we left the hospital at 9pm Tuesday August 5, 2008, a full 15 hours sooner than expected.

And now we’ve been home for almost three days. Things are getting better nursing wise although Jonas has been spitting up a lot and hasn’t had many wet diapers. He seems better today (only spitting up twice and has had two wet diapers already) and has a wellness check in an hour and a half. We have a nurse coming by tomorrow as well to check on him and me so I can ask both of them about his progress with nursing. I think he’s getting the hang of it and my milk is certainly “in” now. My main concern is that he’s what they used to call “tongue tied” (I think I mentioned that in yesterday’s post now that I think about it) so I want to make sure he and I are both working with that and that it’s not hindering anything.

As for my recovery, it still continues to astound me. For example: it’s common knowledge that the first “bowl movement” after giving birth is beyond difficult and a long time in the making. I’ve already gone twice with little to no problems what-so-ever. In addition, my bleeding is minimal and I’ve only had to take acetaminophen three times since being home. Matt also thinks my milk came in faster this time. This whole process has been such a whirlwind it blows my mind.

Yes, I realize at some point during this entry I switched from a third person to a first person narrative. It’s hard to portray the emotions and energy I was feeling in third person. Over the past few days I’ve gone from amazement over how fast everything happened to really soaking in the fact that we have a beautiful baby boy at home with us now. Whenever I pick him up I feel a warmth in my heart that gets bigger and warmer every time. I can feel it happening, it’s not just a cliche. I can feel the mother/son bond growing and it’s so cool. Jaden was instant bonding. I had fierce motherly love right away. With Jonas I barely had time to catch my breath so now that I’m home I can appreciate these growing feelings.

He’s perfect. Motherly pride dictates that I tell you he’s even more beautiful in person.

Jonas about 2.5 hours old

Jonas about 2.5 hours old


9 Responses

  1. Congratulations! He is adorable and makes me want to have another baby. Oh how I miss the expressions they make, the smell of new baby and holding them close and just being so filled with love that you feel like your heart will explode. Kids are amazing aren’t they? Congrats again, and take care of yourself and your family.

  2. Awwww….so many congrats!!
    He’s beautiful!

  3. What a wonderful birth story! Many, many blessings upon your household!

  4. If you arrange the first letters of your family member’s names it’s MJMJ. Which is like saying Michael Jackson…twice.


    I miss you. Congrats. Hi Jonas, I’m your big sister’s bff…you cross her, you cross me, man. She crosses you? I’ll just have to have a little talk with her. I know a thing or two about what it’s like to be a big sister.

  5. OMFG, what a day!!! I think I would have been puking out of fear and frustration. You are a strong mama!

    Have you ever met with a lactation consultant (LC)? They are worth their weight in gold!!! Jonas is taking milk better from the bottle because it is really (can I say again REALLY) easy to get the milk from the nipple on the bottle vs. milk from the breast. The more he takes from the bottle, the less he’ll want to work at the nipple, and the less milk you’ll make (pumping doesn’t create the same amount of milk that an actual baby latch does). It can turn into a viscous (sp.?) cycle. Newborns know how to suck, but they don’t necessarily know how to nurse; there is a big difference. Did you mention that Jonas is partially tongue-tied? That is HUGE as far as latching on and nursing correctly; most Peds don’t even realize this and it has gotten more than one of my mama friends in trouble as far as nursing. An LC can help with all of the above. I have a friend who is currently nursing her sixth child (a set of twins in there) and she is experiencing difficulties for the first time ever and is meeting with an LC today; she thought she was immune to these sorts of problems because she had “been there, done that”.

    Okay, that was my 2 cents and you can tell me to shut it if you like. I’m getting off my soapbox now.

    He is absolutely gorgeous!!!

  6. Ooops, sorry…I meant to put the above comment after your most recent post. Blame it on my preggo brain.

  7. I’ve thought about seeing an LC but he’s getting much better about nursing (I’ll updat fully on monday). I can feel my breasts being more…squishy when he’s done so I know he’s getting what he needs. Thanks for the 2 cents 🙂

  8. I know I am late, but congrats to you and Matt! I had little Logan Patrick on July 20th. I so know what you mean by feeling everything during pushing. Didn’t really with Jaron, but did with Logan, and it really was a completely amazing experience. Wishing you all the best. Can’t believe how quickly our new babies are growing!

  9. […] in stone so who knows what kitchen design I will go with. After we win the lottery and pay off the medical bills and refrigerator and […]

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