What I think about when I’m not focused on contractions

I was getting some coffee with which I would make a ghetto mocha when my mind started to wonder. As it poured out of the coffee maker thing I thought, “C’mon, baby. Gimme that black gold.” Then I thought of the Beverly Hillbillies (“texas tea”) which lead to this train of thought:

 

If we, meaning the United States (but really the rest of the world but mostly the United States as we are the beacon of hope to the rest of the world) get our act together and actually come up with an energy alternative to oil (like, oh I don’t know, THE SUN) and Jaden and Nibbler were to somehow catch a rerun of The Beverly Hillbillies they’d probably wonder what the big deal was about gross black crap that came out of the ground. Then I’d have to explain why oil was a big deal which include many articles from wikipedia and goofy ass charts and big words about the economy and oil barrens making shit tons of money. Then they’d ask the logic behind that because if you look at the cost of researching, drilling, refining and transporting oil ($LOTS.00) compared to the cost of producing sun light ($FREE.00) why wouldn’t we have gone that route a long time ago? Then I’d throw something lame out there like, well oil also makes lots of other things like stuff made of plastic. Then, because my kids are geniuses, they’d be all, “yeah about that. Thanks for the hormone replication, chet. What about hemp?” Then I’d be stuttering to explain the actions of past generations which might or might not include a viewing of “Reefer Madness” until I finally threw up my hands and said, “I DON’T KNOW! GOD! You’d think you’d be grateful we finally harnessed the freaking sun’s energy. Stop asking so many questions. And get me a beer.” So maybe this whole alternative energy source stuff isn’t such a good idea after all. Since my kids are such geniuses, let’s let them figure it out. The ingrates.

 

Bringing things back to the title of the post, I’m having stronger contractions again so I can focus on those now and keep my random thoughts at bay for awhile. You’re welcome.

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