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Milestone Monday July 21, 2008 (21 days left!*)

*14!!!!! OMG!

Am. So. Tired. Pregnant women should get the last two weeks of their pregnancy off with pay. This includes stay at home moms and work from home moms. Stay at home moms would get free daycare for the kids as would work from home moms. And the working outside of the home moms. I’m tired and no longer make sense. But I think you get my point: whatever needs to happen to get me the next two weeks or so off of work and still making money needs to happen. I don’t think I need to point out that this is all your responsibility so ya’ll should probably get on it already.

Milestone 1: Contraction Central is now fully up and operational. However, with any new start up company, there have been some glitches. The biggest glitch being the contractions generated at the plant aren’t passing performance inspections. For past reports on these malfunctions please look here and here. One expectation that has been met is that now that the hosptal overnight bag has been packed, the Contraction Department seems to have slowed down production. No word from managment as to the reason behind the slow down but the company owner speculates that the department is rethinking strategy and will hopefully be implenting a new plan in order to produce the best results.

*Update* As of 6:30am July 21, 2008 contraction production has been reinstated. So far, no results. Owner is seriously considering mass lay-offs in this department.

Milestone 2: The big question over the weekend was whether the expedition into the basement in search of the elusive baby bottles and bibs would prove fruitful. The answer is YES! Not only were the bottles and bibs unearthed Friday evening, but a whole cache of unisex onsies and pants were also discovered. These were subsequently washed along with the cover of the infant car seat and that thing that goes over the car seat and baby to prevent frost-bite during the bitter winter months. These treasures have been labeled and put on display in Nibbler’s Bedroom for use in the very near future. The bottle collection has also been cleaned and put into The Kitchen, also for future use. Unfortunately, some nipples were found that could not be salvaged. They have been properly disposed of and replaced.

In other “feeding news”, Marcoda found replacements for her breast pump valve and shields for $10 less than she expected to pay. There was much rejoicing until she discovered her three year old companion had made her own discovery of a travel size bottle of hair conditioner and poured it all over what was later revealed to be a “shower poof”. There was much mental cursing and frantic searching for “baby wipes” that, although the explorers were in the “infant section”, were nowhere to be found. The search concluded in the “grocery section” where a small package of wipes was savagely torn open and contents used to clean up the conditioner spill. No wildlife was immediately in danger, however, the long term effects of the “disposable wipes” are as yet unknown to this reporter.

Milestone 3: After the expeditions of Friday evening and the cleaning and storage activities of Saturday morning, Marcoda’s energy had been used up entirely. She spent the rest of the weekend sitting on her rump reading. She did manage to retrieve her younger sister and set her to work taking care of the Three Year-Old so Mr. and Mrs. Bingmar could enjoy a relaxing evening out. A viewing of The Dark Knight* took place and much restraint was used in NOT strangling the group of rowdy teenagers that sat behind them. It was a late showing and so the Bingmars did not get to bed until 2am. Luckily, the younger sister agreed to perform morning rituals with the Three Year Old so the parents were able to sleep until noon (NOON!). Marcoda brought her sister home and then laid down with the Three Year Old for a nap. Marcoda woke up two hours later, did some laundry, read, made a half-assed dinner and went to bed at 10:30. Waking up at 4:30 to expel urine, Marcoda was unable to fall back to sleep and spent the next hour or so mentaly reciting scenes from “The Princess Bride.” It was then determined that Marcoda hates herself.

Which brings us to the present: A very tired Marcoda who long ago wore out any humor behind a newsletter type format for this weeks Milestones post. However, Marcoda is also very pleased with her creatvitity and it thinking she should write more sleep deprived posts in the future. She is now laughing because there are still 2-3 weeks of pregnancy sleep deprivation ahead of her followed by 18 years of parenting sleep deprivation. The possibility of more creative posts in the near future is uncertain but looks good. Or bad depending on which side you’re looking from.

Ok, I’m done with that. Lord. That got old fast, huh? Anyway, my milestones will probably not be as detailed as past ones because I’m going to be posting more on a “as it happens” basis. This close to the due date a weekly update may not be enough. I do have a doctor’s appointment this wednesday and will report the findings at that time. I’m really really hoping the contractions are getting Ye Olde Stubborn Cervix into gear but I’m also really really stupid. But here’s to hope!

Your pregnancy: 37 weeks


How your baby’s growing:

Congratulations — your baby is full term! This means that if your baby arrives now, his lungs should be fully mature and ready to adjust to life outside the womb, even though your due date is still three weeks away.

Your baby weighs 6 1/3 pounds and measures a bit over 19 inches, head to heel (like a stalk of Swiss chard). Many babies have a full head of hair at birth, with locks from 1/2 inch to 1 1/2 inches long. But don’t be surprised if your baby’s hair isn’t the same color as yours. Dark-haired couples are sometimes thrown for a loop when their children come out as blonds or redheads, and fair-haired couples have been surprised by Elvis look-alikes. And then, of course, some babies sport only peach fuzz.
 “Extreme close up! WOOOOOOOOOOOAH!”

How your life’s changing:

Braxton Hicks contractions may be coming more frequently now and may last longer and be more uncomfortable. You might also notice an increase in vaginal discharge. If you see some “bloody show” (mucus tinged with a tiny amount of blood) in the toilet or in your undies, labor is probably a few days away — or less. (If you have heavier spotting or bleeding, call your caregiver immediately.) Also be sure to ask your caregiver about the results of your Group B strep culture. That way, if the result isn’t yet on your chart when you get to the hospital or birth center, you’ll be able to give the staff there a timely heads-up if you need antibiotics.

It may be harder than ever to get comfortable enough to sleep well at night. If you can, take it easy through the day — this may be your last chance to do so for quite a while. Keep monitoring your baby’s movements, too, and let your caregiver know immediately if you notice a decrease. Though her quarters are getting cozy, she should still be as active as before.

OH! One more milestone: I’m officially at the “You’re almost there!” and “Just a little more!” comments from co-workers and strangers phase. I’ve gotten my “brave yet obviously miserable” smile firmly in place. Yay me! And yes, people, I am carrying all out front. Yes, I am all belly. And no, you can’t tell I’m pregnant from behind. No, this does not make this any less uncomfortable, in case you were wondering.

* Dark Knight? FREAKING AWESOME!!! Seriously, get out there and see it in the theatre. Yes, Christian Bale and Heath Ledger were great but I was pleasantly surprised by Aaron Eckhart’s performace as Harvey Dent/Two-Face. Steller performances by all. (I heart Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine. I wish they could have babies together.) The special effects were very cool and not over the top (well, there were some over the top moments, but they were very cool.). In short: I was not disappointed and I had some pretty high expectations. Go see it!


2 Responses

  1. i was beginning to wonder where the third person dialogue came from…but now I know. God …i hope Steven is a very smart man and plans to take me to see Dark Knight this weekend for my b-day. OMG what if you had the baby on my b-day?? its very possible seeing that its on Sunday…oh joy 😛 could you take a picture so that i can see that smile of yours? tehe…i am sure i can guess what it looks like…. keep “hangin tough” and push your little uteris workers a little more …maybe bring in a temp to assist (and yes i am refering to the “sex” thing again”) GOOD LUCK!

  2. Well, it’s 2:15 am right now and I’ve been having contractions on and off since the drive home from work. To say I’m not a little annoyed would be a lie. Grrr. They’re not painful which is a good thing but not really. If they were getting painful I would have hope that they’re going somewhere. Instead I’m eating Crunch Berries and not sleeping. Again: grrr.

    If I have Nibbler on Sunday, he will be a lucky lucky baby 🙂 If Steven doesn’t take you to see Batman, he will be a very unlucky man as he will have not only a pissed off girlfriend but a very angry preggie on his hands!

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