Wake me up when it’s 2005 again.

In roughly two hours The Mister and I will be picking up The Daughter’s preschool enrollment packet. In exactly one month I will be dropping The Daughter off at her first day of preschool. Precisely 10 seconds after I give up trying to hug her goodbye (as she’ll be “way too busy playing with the kids, MOM, stop embarrassing me.”) I’ll be fighting back tears but failing beautifully.


When did she turn three? Well, not until the 25th of this month. Let me rephrase: “When did she stop being a baby?”


I had a minor freak out last night on the way home. The Mister was driving and I was way too tired and found my mind drifting to Jaden having her first day away from anyone she knows. I’m talking 10 hours here, people. Yeah, long time, ain’t it? I realized that we’ll be dropping her off at 7 and picking her up close to 6. Shit. That’s almost 11 hours. Away from anyone she knows. How is she going to handle it? Is she going to cry and cry when she realizes we deserted her for 11 hours with nothing but strangers to comfort her?  Or will she even realize I’m gone because she’ll be having so much fun?


Will she even miss me?


I have pictures of Jaden at my desk when she’s 3 months old all the way up to 18 months. Then in my digital frame are all pics from this year. I can see the progression from little Bald Smiley Baby to Sassy Pants in mom’s shades goofing it up for the camera. I can see it but I can’t remember: WHEN? When did she stop being a baby?


My dear darling wonderful little big girl. You’re going through a lot this year and for the most part you’re handling it really well. Your biggest challenges yet are coming within a month of each other. Literally. You’re starting school a month before your brother is due to enter this world. I try to talk to you about all this school stuff but you’re too busy jumping on the couch and dancing and singing and dressing up your Littlest Pet Shop Pets in pony tail holders for the big costume party. Either this is a good sign that you can’t be fazed or it’s going to come as a huge shock when you finally get your wish and go to school with all the kids. I hope it’s the former. I hope you don’t feel like we’re deserting you. I hope when we pick you up on your first day you don’t want to leave because you’re having so much fun. I hope you don’t see mommy crying as she walks out the door the morning of July 11 and I hope you’re not crying too.


I’m pretty sure I’m more scared and worried than you. I can’t help it. It’s my job. And I love you too much to screw this up.


2 Responses

  1. […] Wake me up when it’s 2005 again. Archives […]

  2. […] I can’t give enough examples of how much of a little girl she is as opposed to a baby. But I still don’t understand: “when did she stop being a baby?” […]

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