Day in Review

I could come up with a witty intro but the day’s emotional roller coaster has left me bereft of wit. That is the first time I’ve ever used the word “bereft” and I’m not sure if I used it correctly. Not important. Here’s a recap of my day:

Jaden’s morning wake up call: “Wake up, sweetie.” “Get off of me!” “I’m not on you. I’m on your blanket. It’s time to get up now.” “Get off of me!!” (she got up and we made it out the door.)

Suburbanite Hazing: Back up to the end of our drive way to discover our mail box has been the on the receiving end of some End of the School Year shinanigans, most likely with a base ball bat. Do we report this? To what end? We decide to continue with our day.

R.I.P. Little Dell: After two hours of battling with my work computer and the help desk, it is determined that my computer is, in fact dead. My new computer will arrive in 3-5 business days. During all of this my annoying co-worker feels the need to add her own “Director’s Commentary” to the scene and I politely ask her to keep her commentary to a minimum as I’m not in the mood. My wonderful co-worker/friend commends me on not beating her to a pulp. I’m rather proud of myself as well. However, emotions aided by hormones are still running high as I’m forced to try to work from a different computer that has none of my folders nor a very important program I need to complete my work. And the phone at this desk is not connected to any sort of phone line. The temptation to leave is overwhelming but I decide to stick it out rather than waste a half day of paid time off.

Emergency Check Call: I go back to my desk to place a phone call to my mother in law to check on J and let her know that not only is my cell phone no longer active as of today (by choice. Cost savings and all that) but I’m not at my desk to answer any phone calls that come into this line. HOWEVER, my mother in law does not answer. Instead my sister in law does. “What are you doing there?” I inquire. “Mom went to the emergency room.” is the answer. “WHAT?” Turns out she was having chest pains and numbing on her left side so she called her husband who came and brought her to the hospital and Sister in law who left work to watch the kids. Sister in law has a dr’s appointment that afternoon so I tell her I’ll be leaving in an hour to take over kid duties for her.

At this time it is just before noon. So much for not using a half day of pto. And the hopes of the day getting better.

Heart, clots, and lawn care: I arrive at MIL’s house and chat with SIL until her appointment. Father in law gets home shortly before SIL gets back. FIL is there to get MIL’s c-pap machine (to help her sleep apnea) as she has to stay in the hospital 2-3 days. Her heart is fine (Thank Goodness!!) but they discovered a blood clot in her lung (!) that they think started in her leg from flight a couple weeks ago to Seattle and back. Turns out she’d had this chest pain a numbness a couple weeks ago but didn’t say anything because it went away. She also said that if she HADN’T felt it before, she wouldn’t have said anything this time. AND when SIL arrived at the house that morning MIL was outside WATERING THE FREAKING LAWN! This woman is the definition of stubborn. She cannot sit still and refuses to admit when she’s not feeling up to par. I admire her drive but at the same time: “YOU WERE A NURSE, YOU CRAZY WOMAN! Number one rule when you have chest pain: don’t keep working! Lay down and rest and most importantly GO TO THE FREAKING HOSPITAL.” She did, obviously, but I seriously worry about her. I always said she works herself too hard and I also fear she’s going to take on too much with the new babies and isn’t going to say anything because she’s worried about all of our financial issues. *sigh* How can we get it into her head that her health is more important than us cutting costs a little more in order to take some of the day care burden off of her?

Moving on.

A small loss of innocence with a splash of corporate incompetence: By the time I got child and husband home, H and I were worn out emotionally and child was just plain defiant. Didn’t want to listen, decided it was naked time, and LIED TO ME. I didn’t find out that last until I’d declared it bedtime and found a poorly hidden pile of clothes that she’d told me she’d thrown down the shoot and had been rewarded with juice. I was more than a little upset. I cannot believe my little angel LIED to me. I didn’t yell but my tone was less than warm as I ordered her to put the clothes down the shoot and get in her bedroom NOW. She complied and then proceeded to try to butter me up while I got her ready for bed. It did not work. She did not get a story and will not be getting any treats tomorrow. After I calmed down a bit (at least towards her. I was more than a little peeved with a certain cell phone company for not knowing what the other hand was doing. BUT I don’t feel like getting into that right now. Suffice it to say it only added to my emotional roller coaster. It DID get all straightened out and Husband now has a shiny new phone and a much cheaper monthly bill.) I realized that perhaps J doesn’t know what “Lieing” means. So I tried explaining it to her with many references to the Berenstein Bears. I still don’t know if she understands why I was so mad. I only fully realized why I was so mad when she cuddled up closer to me and I watched her eyes fluttering closed:

It was like the first bit of innocence that is so marvelous in children has been lost. Talking back and not listening is all part and parcel with childhood but the lying? I wasn’t ready for that. I really wasn’t. Maybe it’s because it takes a certain amount of pre-meditation. As husband pointed out, I’m sure she wasn’t thinking “I’m going to lie to mommy.” She probably was thinking she was just playing a trick on me. Probably, but that doesn’t make it any easier for mom. All I know is I cried looking at her falling asleep and thinking about how much I love her and how much I hate lecturing her and yelling at her (although, it’s mostly a very stern tone, not so much volume) and how this is just going to get harder. The lies will get bigger and the yelling will get louder.

Today has been really hard. I think I’m finally releasing some of my stress so I’m going to save this and go have a good cry.


2 Responses

  1. Oh, man, what a day! Hang in there!

  2. So are you happy that Hillary stepped down? Hows the MIL doing? good i hope…not sure if your gonna be in the office today and since i leave at 11 to go on vaca i thought i would drop a line here! BYE 😀

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