I should not have to suffer this indignation

And yet I do.

Someone asked me the other day what my biggest pet peeve was (not really, but pretend Someone did) and I responded: “Talking in public restrooms.” It’s right up there with pooping while other people are in the rest room. You can probably take away from these two pet peeves that I consider bathroom time a very private time (at least when I’m not at home. There is no privacy at home.).

So imagine my horror and indignation when not 5 minutes ago I went in for my hourly trip to the rest room and entered the first stall as someone was exiting the last stall (I usually grab the last one as it’s bigger and further away from the door. However, I can’t use a stall directly after someone else unless there are no other options. Don’t look at me like that. You have issues too.). She proceeded to wash her hands and coughed a little. Things were going smoothly. I didn’t know her. She didn’t know me. We were just two employees from opposite ends of the building doing as nature dictates.

Then I coughed.

“Oh, sounds like you have the same cough I have.”

I’ve now started the stream and can’t stop it. “Actually, my old cough came back.”

Then we actually had a conversation about the weather. Yes: WEATHER: That fall back subject we all have engaged in with others when we have nothing to say to each other while we refill our coffee/water mugs.

Only I’m peeing the whole time.

Then she wishes me a good weekend and I do the same. I waited until I heard the door close before I wiped because I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction. Of what? I don’t know but no satisfaction was coming her way from me, that’s for damn sure.

To those who talk to others in the bathroom: Why do you people feel the need to talk in the bathroom and with people you don’t know? This is ME time. Stay out of it. I don’t even like talking with those who I’m best of friends with (Hi, Jessie! I didn’t say anything to you yesterday when you came in because I don’t talk to people. I’m sure you didn’t even take note, but in case you were wondering if I was mad at you, no, I wasn’t.) What makes you think I’m ok talking with someone I know nothing about other than that they have no boundaries?!

I’m making assumptions here. I’m sure these people have their own boundries. They’re just not anywhere near restrooms.

In short: Unless you are related to me by blood or a special piece of legal paper (this does NOT extend to inlaws. Sorry.) or we’re both drunk, DON’T TALK TO ME WHILE I’M PEEING. Don’t worry about not talking to me while I’m pooping. We will never be in the same room during that event.




One Response

  1. WORD!

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