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Milestone Monday May 5, 2008 (98 days to go!)

Some fun developments over the past week including some CRAZY moodiness on my part. The thing about my moodiness is people can’t really tell (at least not that I know). I don’t fly off the handle and start calling people butt f***s (to their face). Generally I cry and take it out on my family like any good mother does. But I’m not going to concentrate on that or my awful awful pain today. I want to focus on the good stuff that happened. For instance:


Milestone 1: The little talking-to I had with Nibbler about happy dreams seems to have garnished some results. Last Monday night/Tuesday morning I had a very happy (albeit bizarre) dream about the little bundle of joy. I’ll try to make it brief in the retelling.


I wake up at the hospital to find the baby has been delivered. Yes, I got to sleep through the whole thing. Back in the day they used to knock women out and just deliver the baby without their help. Then feminists came along and started screaming about how this wasn’t “right” or “natural” and women needed to “be a part” of this “miracle”. Bull honkey! Bull honkey and hogswallop I say! Knock me out, let me dream and when I wake up, there’s my happy baby all ready to be greeted by not a screaming mess of a former human but a happy smiling well-rested mommy who’s all set to be loving and nurturing.


I kid. Of course I want to be there when my son is born. I just don’t want to FEEL anything.


Back to the dream. So there’s baby all naked and bald save for a few wisps of black hair. Where’s my husband? He’s off keeping the pre-schooler entertained and has missed the whole delivery. (I can’t get mad; I missed it too.) I’m admiring the awesomeness that is my son when I notice his…region is missing a certain and much needed…sack. Then my gramma shows up (the one who passed away last year) and explains the scrotum needs to drop but you can just pull it out if you want. “Oh! Didn’t know that.” She finds this slit in the baby’s skin and pulls out the little sack.


Then the baby deflates. He looks like a deflated pool toy. I am, understandably, a little upset. The doctor comes in, sees the deflated baby and lectures on how this is why we let things take their natural course. (could this be a glimpse towards where he stands with my possible induction?)Then he starts pulling up parts of the skin so air starts flowing back in and the baby inflates again and is nice and healthy and good to go.


Matt and I leave the hospital and tell the nurses we’ll be back tomorrow to get the baby. We call friends and family but no one is available to come see the baby. They’re all too busy.


We go back to the baby and he now has a full head of blonde curls. Then I wake up. In the dream there was lots of me holding and cuddling the baby so when I woke up I told baby I’m ready to hold him now. Well, as soon as he’s healthy and developed. Don’t want any deflating babies on my hands.


Milestone 2: I was naughty. Very very naughty. I had a sip of Matt’s beer. I lie. I had two sips. And afterwards, before I handed Matt the bottle and before I realized what I was doing, I licked the bottle. In a very not-mommy-like way. I’m a bad girl but that beer wasn’t just any beer. It was a Leiny’s Honeyweiss which I have not had in a LONG time. That’s no excuse. I should not have licked the bottle. But I would gladly do it again if given another sip of that delicious intoxicating golden… I need to stop there.


Milestone 3: Remember that episode of the Simpsons that’s a Cape Fear spoof where Sideshow Bob is plotting his revenge on Bart? There’s a quick shot of Bob doing his aerobics and he’s all “And bend and flex and shape and twist”. (can’t find a screen shot of it for you but go watch that episode and you’ll know what I’m talking about). First, that always cracks me up. Second, that’s what Nibbler is doing inside my uterus all the time. Throwing his limbs this way and that in a crazy fetusy attempt to get in shape for The Big Day. I think this is a great idea and fully support his ambitions. HOWEVER, he needs to give it a rest when I glare at him. He may not be able to see me, but kids know when they’re pissing off their moms. He KNOWS I’m glaring and he needs to heed the glare and give mommy a break from time to time.


Milestone 4: I’ve had a cough lingering for over a month now. It’s starting to really annoy me. I called my doctor this morning and talked to the very nice nurse there and she said that as long as I’m not coughing up blood or having trouble breathing (in relation to the coughing not baby just plain wearing me down) as in there may be fluid in the lungs, I’m ok and the cold is just lingering because my body is all in “growing a second human” mode and doesn’t give a crap about me anymore (JUDAS!). So, as annoying as the cough is, I’m probably not dieing. That’s a good thing.


Milestone 5: I promised I wouldn’t whine about the god awful pain I’m in every day. And I’m not going to. I just wanted to say I ordered one of those belly belt things that helps to support the belly and take some of the pressure off my poor “baby focused” body. Unlike Matt’s suggestion, it is NOT like a girdle but more like a bra for my belly. It lifts, but doesn’t separate. And I can’t wait until it arrives and my nightmare can end! Did I say nightmare? I didn’t mean that. I meant, this slightly irritating side affect of carrying my second bundle of joy whom I love love love. LOVE!!


Milestone 6: I hit the “basic baby clothes” jackpot this weekend at this one garage sale. They all looked basically new but since we live in the age of fragrant fabric softener and laundry detergent and it’s just a good thing to do, I promptly washed everything when I got home before hanging them up in the baby’s closet. And THAT’S when I discovered that it’s not the “baby girl=pink” I should’ve been concerned about but rather the “baby boy=blue” thing. There are plenty of options for little girls after all. It’s baby boys that are stuck with pastel blue. With the exception of two or three outfits, that’s all my son will be wearing. So, new goal for me: No more clothes that are light blue. UNLESS it’s super cute like that brown and blue set I saw at Kohls. But only if it’s super cute.


Your pregnancy: 26 weeks


How your baby’s growing:

Your baby now weighs about a pound and two-thirds and measures 14 inches (an English hothouse cucumber), from head to heel. The nerve pathways in her ears are developing, which means her response to sounds is growing more consistent. Her lungs are developing now, too, as she continues to take small breaths of amniotic fluid — good practice for when she’s born and takes that first breath of air. If you’re having a boy, his testicles are beginning to descend into his scrotum — a trip that will take about two to three days.



Is anyone else weirded out that I had a dream about not seeing my son’s scrotum and here the update is talking about it?


 “Mooooooooom! Stop talking about my junk with the internets!” Doesn’t he look like he’s just chilling waiting for the bowl to come his way? Well, he’d better not be! We don’t do that in this house, mister! *cough*anymore*cough*


Wow, Nibbler. I just read the whole “What your experiencing” part of BabyCenter’s update and they were talking about writing up a birth plan. Reading it brought me back to your sister’s delivery and seeing her for the first time and how surreal and wonderful it was. I’m tearing up thinking about experiencing such a wonder all over again but knowing it’s going to be completly different. In some ways, having experienced child birth before I’m having a harder time imagining you than I did imagining your sister. With her, it was a blank slate. With you, I have these preconceived notions and I know you’re going to throw me for a loop because you are your own. In every way you will not be like your sister. I need to get that through my head. Please don’t think I’m comparing you two in a “I love this kid more because of this” kind of way. I’m just observing. I do that. I’m thinking all moms do. How can we not? For those with more than one child we’re constantly astounded at how beings that came from the same source can be so different. I love you so much, my little boy. Hanging up all your clothes (as blue dominated as they are) got me so giddy with anticipation at holding you and breathing you in.


Less than 100 days. Oh I hope it goes as fast as the first 182.


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