Milestone Monday April 28, 2008 (105 Days to Go!)

It’s weird having two countdowns in one blog. Especially from such different genres. I almost didn’t want to write an update right now because I am feeling so disgustingly blah but that would not be fair to Nibbler.  My mood has been very gloomy lately. I have ups and downs but I’ve been down. I don’t even know if you could call it down. It’s more of a non-mood. This has also only really happened this weekend so I don’t know if it could be considered a milestone really. But read on to the other milestones and perhaps there are some contributing factors.

Milestone 1: Had my first bladder pound last Tuesday. This is monumental because Jaden didn’t start her bladder pounds until month 7 or 8. I was sitting at my desk when all of a sudden I felt a thud then a very strong, “MUST GET TO THE BATHROOM” urge. So, off I ran, err, waddled. Tuesday was a day full of peeing adventures but this was the most significant. The rest were just frequent.

Milestone 2: I’ve been trying out the baby’s name when I’m alone in my car (which isn’t a lot since H and I started carpooling) and it’s growing on me. I don’t know why I’m having such a hard time with this whole name thing. It’s a great name and it’s everything I wanted in a name. I just don’t see my baby when I say it. But, as I said, I’m getting used to it. I just wish I had the same enthusiasm as I did with Jaden’s name. That was IT once we decided on it. I’ll get over myself, don’t worry. Plus, we had Jaden test it out and she can pronounce it perfectly although she doesn’t know that’s the baby’s name. Nothing like telling a 2 year old a secret if you don’t want it to be secret for very long.

Milestone 3: I’m ready to call Dr.  and scream at him. His “theory” on soreness going away is complete bull shit. I’m sore more than ever now! Sitting hurts, walking hurts, laying down hurts. There’s nothing I can do. I think it’s because I’m carrying lower this time and there’s more pressure down there. See, my pain is hard to describe. Yes, my hips still hurt but it’s also as if my lady region has been sitting directly on a two by four for hours. There’s this strange pressure-y type of sore. Oh, and when I stand up from my chair at work, I almost roll off the chair with a grunted “oof, ow”. I’m the picture of feminine grace. Dr.  also said that unlike non-pregnancy pain, women don’t get angry with this type of pain. Something about endorphines and crap. This too is complete bull shit. I almost cried this morning, not out of pain, but out of frustration with the pain.

God, I’m just one big whiny crab aren’t I?

Well, I ain’t done yet.

Milestone 4: Got my first Charlie Horse yesterday morning. We all knew this day was coming. I’ve been carefully testing the limits of my stretching and yesterday morning I found it. Charlie Horses are weird. For half a second you think, “Oh, got a charlie horse. This isn’t too bad. I can handle it.” Then the second half of that second kicks in and you start screaming while your husband wakes from a dead sleep gasping, “What?? What is it??” and you scream back, “I got my first charlie horse! OW!” (And if you read that with any tone of excitement, I’m going to throw a brick at you.) Husband dutifully rubs away the pain as you whimper and calm down then he flops back down and goes back to sleep while you get up and get the kid breakfast. My point? I hate Charlie Horses and now I’m back to fearing to stretch my poor cramped legs.

Milestone 5: WTF is up with my dreams? I had some weird dreams with Jaden but they were for the most part pretty pleasant. Now? Nightmares. All the time. And the thing about these is they start out innocently bizarre but suddenly shift into some twisted sci-fi movied turned zombie horror flick. I hate zombies. You’ve no idea. The reason I hate zombies (I figured out way too early Sunday morning) is their origin: Some uncontrollable disease wipes through the human race and we are all helpless to stop it. I jolted awake from my zombie dream (which I’m not going to give details about except that Matt was is in it, which was bad enough, but thank the godz the kids weren’t or I would’ve lost it completely) and lay clutching Matt, nails digging in, gasping for breath as my biggest fear announced itself to me. I always thought I was afraid of the dark (or the unknown). Turns out, I’m afraid of not being in control when it comes to my family. I ended up in tears as flashes of armageddon (not the movie, you freak) came and went in front of my open eyes as I stared into the darkness of my bedroom and realized that there will be nothing I can do to protect my husband and kids if something like this were to happen. Where would you run if wide spread disease, panic, or destruction erupted? There’s nowhere to run. All I could do is comfort them as best I could while we hunker down in some basement and wait for the end.

Nibbler, could you please make with the happy baby dreams already? Mommy can’t take anymore of this.

Now that I’ve thoroughly hit upon the reason behind my gloomy mood, let’s lighten things up a bit:

Ok, I guess we won’t. I’ve been trying for a half hour (while working on actual work, don’t worry) to get babycenter to cooperate and it’s just not. It sucks to be me. I’ll try again later this afternoon. In the mean time:

** UPDATE **

Your pregnancy: 25 weeks

How your baby’s growing:

Head to heels, your baby now measures about 13 1/2 inches. His weight — a pound and a half — isn’t much more than an average rutabaga, but he’s beginning to exchange his long, lean look for some baby fat. As he does, his wrinkled skin will begin to smooth out and he’ll start to look more and more like a newborn. His hair is probably recognizable now (in color and texture), although both may change after he’s born.

In our case, he’ll lose any hair he may have on the way out and be bald until his 2nd birthday.

Please tell me Nibbler is cuter than a rutabaga.

The rutabaga is smooching my cute face! I’ll just push it away. (So, THAT’S what he’s doing in there.)

Nibbler, I don’t mean to keep comparing you to your sister and I hope it won’t continue once you’re on the outside. It’s just hard NOT to compare two monumental yet similar events in my life. You are certainly your own unique person. You’re making that clear even now.


One Response

  1. #1. Are you still taking the stairs at work…while you may think that you are stretching and getting some sort of excersize TAKE THE ELEVATOR…there is no shame and it just may eleviate some pain…and let your wonderful husband help more than he wants to “wink wink”
    #2. You JUST got your first Charlie horse…cant remember when i got mine but my sister beth whos due date is 9/7 just got her first charlie horse too. Remember how her doctor wanted to move her due date into august (like right after yours) and Beth felt that it needed to move into October….well seeing that she is getting charlie horses and can feel the baby move (new mom here) and if you look at the picture i just posted on friday on flickr i think you might agree with me that you two are on track for the same due date or that girl is having twins…we find out friday YAY!!…water girl…oucie charlie horses…there’s one horse i would like to turn into glue!…
    sorry for the long comment, slightly avoiding work right now 🙂

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