Then Winter Kicked Spring in the Proverbial Nutsack

It fecking snowed last night. SNOWED on April 26. What the hell? The ONLY plus side to this is now Matt can paint the babies room and I won’t feel bad about holing away in the basement organizing instead of working out in the yard. (Yes, you can laugh. That was a joke. I can’t work in the yard and I know it.)

Unless you live in a climate that will cock tease you (or clit tease) you with beautiful 70 degree weather then turn to rain then to fecking SNOW in the same week, you will never understand the despair felt around the great state of Minnesota this morning. I can almost hear the new green grass shivering.

GAW! I’ve been looking out the window as I type this, cursing the quarter inch of snow covering my lawn and guess what I’m witnessing. Just guess. MORE SNOW IS STARTING TO FALL. Winter is like that really annoying person that shows up at a party they weren’t invited to and ends up crashing on your couch for a week because they came down with the flu and then shit and puke all over the house because they don’t even think about using a toilet or at the least a plastic grocery bag and you keep trying to kick them out but somehow they made a copy of your house key and keep coming back and you can’t call the cops and get a restraining order because they’re the chief of police’s kid and he’s way too happy to have the annoying spawn out of HIS house that he’s not about to help you keep him out of yours.

I don’t know if that analogy works, but it at least begins to illustrate my point that winter needs to go away and we are helpless.


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