BEEP BEEP BEEP! Livestock Alert!! BEEP BEEP BEEP!

I wish I could make that headline scroll because if any warning deserves a scrolling marquee than this one does. I’m still trying to catch my breath because I’ve just been informed not 5 minutes ago that there is a sheep in the house.

Jaden and I were just sitting here eating a nutritious dinner of macaroni and cheese when all of a sudden a sheep saunters into the kitchen. I’m really glad Jaden was here with me because I didn’t see it until she pointed it out to me. I warned her yesterday that I’m not observant but really? How could I miss a fucking sheep walking around my second story kitchen?

CRAP! There are two more! Jaden just counted three sheep total. How do I get rid of sheep? I can’t even deal with spiders!

Oh, Jaden’s petting them. They must be nice. Am I a bad mother for letting my daughter pet strange farm animals before I test them for hostility? Oh well, it’s too late now. Luckily these things seem pretty tame. Jaden just said one of them is named “Baby”.  And now they’re following her into the bedroom to get a wipe to wipe up the cheese all over the table. I use the term “cheese” ever so loosely.

Ok, so maybe I was being a tad alarmist in wishing for a scrolling marquee complete with old timey beeping noises like they used to use in those old Superman cartoons. But how was I supposed to react to sheep suddenly showing up at my place and me without any sheep friendly appetizers?

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2 Responses

  1. yay! imaginary friends! my youngest brother had two dogs. one named levy and the other named fency. my mom bought him a dog so when he talked to himself in the yard it looked like he was talking to something other than himself. hahaha!

  2. ……sleep deprivation can be a nasty trickster….dear lord i thought you were serious for a minute :O

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