They say your second kid is the complete opposite of your first.

So I’ve been thinking a lot about Nibbler  (weird, right?) and wondering how much like the big sister little fetus will be like. In particular, how will mornings be handled by the new baby? Jaden is like her daddy: hates mornings and wishes death to all mornings. I don’t particularly love mornings, but I know there’s no getting around them and so I just get up and deal with them. I’ve always been that way. Well, not the weekends between the ages of 19 and 23 before I had the kid. Mostly because I was going to bed around the time I now get up. Wow, adulthood sneaks up on you fast doesn’t it? 

…..Insert motage of wild hazy nights and late morning breakfasts of green stuff…..

And back to this morning when this thought was voiced allowed by me:

“I hope the next one likes mornings better than you do, kiddo.”

I’ll start with me walking into her room (yes HER room because the little darling has slept all night in her room for three nights now. I’m not excited. She’ll be in our bed tonight. That’s the pattern.) and singing a little diddy that went something like this: “Jaden….where’s my Jaden? Jaden….it’s time to wake up.” And so forth. She didn’t stir and I continued to adlib my little song while I dug through her clothes basket for something that both fit and matched. I’ve given up putting away her clean clothes. Well, any clothes at all really. They just sit in clothes baskets until I dig them out, iron them, wear them and throw them on the floor. I used to like putting J’s clothes away (baby clothes! Cute!) but that novelty wore off about four months ago. Huh, I just made a random correlation between that and the start of my pregnancy…interesting.

J continued to ignore me (or honestly not hearing me) singing my beautiful Ode to Mornings in her honor until I gently pulled her blanket back:

sleep-filled mumble: “No…” pulls blanket back over her

Mary Poppins cheerful: “C’mon, baby! Time to wake up now.” pulls blanket down

Not so sleepy: “No.” pulls blanket up

Still happy: “Yes. It’s time to get dressed and go see gramma.” pulls blanket down and sits on it.

Pissed: “NO!” Picks herself up long enough to through herself back to prove her point.

Trying new tactic: “Let mama hold you.” Gently lifts her up. “You’re so sweet. Let me hold you. I just want to hold you.”

Defiant to the end: “NO!” but gives in and I hold her and then commit the unforgivable: I take off her jammie top.

Oh the betrayal! Oh the anger! Oh the “How could you, mommy! I trusted you!” And again with the throwing herself on the bed screaming no. The following happened in such rapid succession I’m still impressed with her determination:

“Let’s get your shirt onNO!!! It’s cold, let’s get dressedNO!! Do you want to brush your teeth?NO!! Do you want a glass of water?NO!! Then I was curious to see if she was really listening to me or just stuck in a loop.

“Do you want some ice cream?” pause. count of three then an almost angry “Yes!” Well, crap I thought as I laughed. “Well, let’s get your shirt on then you can have some ice cream.”

She eventually got dressed but not without me dangling the promise of ice cream for breakfast in front of her nose between each step. Oh and some definite fights over the dress and her socks and brushing her teeth. (“I NOT brushing my TEETH!” Through a mouthful of toothpaste, “You’re not brushing your teeth. I’m brushing my teeth.”)

Then we’re in the kitchen and for some reason part of my brain thinks, maybe she’ll forget about the ice cream. Silly brain. I pass the fridge and Jaden almost panics, “I’ream, mommy?” I play it off like i’m just going to get a spoon and so wasn’t NOT going to give my two year old ice cream at 6:30 in the morning.

“Ok, you get one bite and then we have to go.” Wrong thing to say.

“NO! I not have bite. I eat i’ream at da table!”  She knows that if she eats at the table, the ice cream will be served in a bowl where she will get not one piss-ant sized bite but 5 giant bites. Where did she get to be so damn smart?

“You get one bite or you get nothing.” I’m smarter. Ha! Really, though, I’m panicking now because my pain in the ass inner clock is screaming “IF YOU STAND ANY CHANCE OF STAYING ON SCHEDULE YOU HAVE TO LEAVE NOW!!” And I have no patience when my inner clock is screaming like that.

Jaden takes the bite of ice cream, I get her coat and hat on with little fuss (she would’ve shown balls of steel to pitch a fit after getting ice cream) and got out the door on time. Thank the heavens.

Then I stepped outside to see half an inch of snow covering my car and more falling gently to the ground from the same heavens I just thanked.

Shit.

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2 Responses

  1. Coolest mom EVER. You let your kid have ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST!?!?!?!? Can I call you mommy too?

  2. How can I make Noah enjoy sleeping in the morning like that? Nyquil? I’ll do it…

    You are so patient and quick thinking in the morning!!! The real question is, how do you do THAT?

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