Why Polly is Gross

I haven’t written about Polly since we got the little beast because, frankly, I’m not proud of the fact that she drives me absolutely crazy. She’s mostly attention starved seeing as we’re gone all day at work and then come home and go about our home business (dinner, kid, sleep) so I can forgive her for that. She’s just a spaz though! Tearing ahead of us in the off chance that if she gets to where we’re going first, or better yet trips us so we curse her out, we’ll give her food. This has never worked and I don’t know why she thinks it will. Well, we do curse her out but it’s the pansy “parent of a two year old” swearing. I feel like Yosemite Sam: “Ricken fracken spaz cat!”

She’s gotten better about being a spaz and jumping on top of our curtain rods, book shelves and curtains, and clawing our blankets and other stuff so I’ve since retracted my vow to get her declawed. I’ve forgiven her spazing out for the most part and can even cuddle with her on the couch now.

I can’t forgive her for what she just did ten minutes ago.

Jaden woke up around 4 this morning gagging. The gagging quickly turned to vomiting and Matt did a wonderful father thing involving his hands that he doesn’t want to talk about ever again. From there it was two hours of Jaden sleeping for a few minutes, waking up, me shoving her face over a bucket, her puking, then falling back to sleep. After every “episode” I’d wipe her mouth with a towel. I kept the towel on my nightstand so it would be at the ready.

This morning we all woke up, I let my boss know I wasn’t going to be in due to the third vomiting incident this month. After some last minute rushing around to print out some things for the mortgage guy for Matt to drop off (I was going to fax them from work but that was now out of the question) I headed back to the bedroom to keep and eye on J as she slept. While I’m warming up the laptop, Polly comes wandering in for attention. I ignore her. It’s this thing we do. Then I hear something. I look over to see her licking the vomit off of the towel. Yes. LICKING THE VOMIT OFF THE TOWEL. I shoved her off the table shouting something along the lines of “you disgusting freak!” By now I’ve got the lap top on my lap so I’m reluctant to get up and close the door (see earlier post about my laziness).

The gross beast comes back for seconds.

This is enough for me to put the lap down aside and stick her in the kitchen with a “Why don’t you go eat your poop or something?” and shut the door.

Have I grossed you out yet?

The only reason I can figure that she would be trying to eat Jaden’s vomit is because J ate chicken and rice last night and cats like poultry. But that thought makes my stomach turn even more so I’ll just stick with my cat’s a disgusting freak who eats vomit for no reason. At least not any reason relating to my child’s dinner last night.

Bet I grossed you out now.

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5 Responses

  1. not a chance spaz 😛 all of my dogs have eaten their OWN vomit! yummy….oh and my dog cocoa use to chew the crotches out of our panties and chew up USED “Aunt Flo stoppers”….hows your tummy treating you now?

  2. um. next time you blog about things of this nature please provide a warning. I read your blogs over lunch.

  3. on a completely different subject, your out of office says you will reply to emails on February 18th 🙂

  4. Love love love the new look!

  5. love IT!!! totally marcoda style!

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