Milestone Monday 12/31/07

I’ve decided to do little weekly pregnancy updates. That doesn’t mean I don’t retain the right to post and whine whenever I feel like. These will just be Pregnancy related. Other posts will be….other posts. I actually wanted to start this last Friday when I’d realized I’d hit several pregnancy milestones that week but by the time I got home I didn’t even want to look at the computer and I spent the rest of my weekend on the couch hating people but trying my best not to appear that way. So, I’ll recap the week before on Mondays and include my little update I get from babycenter.

Milestone 1: I discovered the secret to not feeling crappy (tummy wise) is to just keep eating. All the time. This wasn’t a complete revelation on my own, it was more of a “My stomach is growling again? I just freaking ate! Oh, I’m also starting to feel gross. Quick, eat a grape! Probably more than one. Oh, that’s better.” And the process repeated itself. So, now I’m eating all the time and I’m only half way through my first trimester. This does not bode well for my “keep this baby’s birth weight under 9 pounds” goal.

Milestone 2: Had my first craving(s) last week. One happened Christmas evening. Well, really early the following morning. See, my insomnia is out of control so even though I’m freaking exhausted physically, mentally I’m all “Ooh, look a top 100 countdown of the best songs of the 90s. I’d better stay up and watch that. Not trying to grow a baby or anything.” So around 12:30 that morning I finally shut off the tv (Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” was number one by the way. I’m not commenting.) and rolled over to go to sleep. Suddenly out of freaking nowhere I get this vision of the most beautiful red apple I’ve ever seen and oh how good an apple would be right now. Ok, I don’t even like Red Delicious, but in this pregnancy hallucination, it was amazing and I came really damn close to calling H into the bedroom and sending him out to get me an apple. But I didn’t. Because I love him. Instead, I dragged J to the grocery store the next morning and spent way too much money on fruit, pudding, frozen burritos, store brand EZ Mac (this was actually for J but then I ended up finishing her helping that afternoon when she decided she was done and I fell in love so I had one myself the next day) and a hand full of other things. The next day, I went to work armed and dangerous with my produce but then decided at 2:30 that afternoon that I needed gummies. I mean, NEEDED gummies. Thank godz I had some change for the vending machine. I finally ate my apple on Friday and Oh. My. Godz. It was heaven. Not Red Delicious. It was a Gala. And oh, yea. Fricken sweet.

Milestone 3: Pretty sure I got my first hemmoriod on Friday. This is when things get gross. You may want to skip this milestone. So I’ve been battling my first stint with constipation with this pregnancy (could be its own milestone I guess, but it all ties together). This is the hard bitter truth that women don’t think about when they think “I want a baby!”. Pregnant woman can’t poop and thus get hemmoroids.  Only last time for me, it happened during my third trimester and I actually didn’t get a hemmoroid until after J was born and I was dealing with that whole healing process. But this baby is all for “Full Speed Ahead” with not only increasing my appetite but also the not-at-all-fun-not-pooping part. For three days last week, I’d head to the bathroom, sit and grunt and curse my colon and end up with a couple pepples for my trouble. Then Friday came. Oh that was work. Without details (ha! I’ve already crossed that line!) I finally got the giant bastard out and nearly sighed with relief. Oh I felt great and practically whistled on the way back to my desk. Then the afternoon’s activities made me question my good feelings. Four pieces of cheese pizza at lunch led me to the bathroom again (yes, I said four. Back off.) and before I could even begin to pooh, OH THE BURNING! Oh the PAIN! “Why does my colon hate me?” I nearly wept aloud. Then I reached this moment (and I hope I’m not alone in reaching this moment) where I thought hysterically, “I don’t want to be here anymore! I can’t be here anymore! Let me out!” and I put my digestive tract (at least the end part) on a time out and left the bathroom. 15 minutes later my boss told my team to go home. Which I did. And was grateful. Which leads us to

Milestone 4: Almost threw up last night. Yes, this is a milestone. I don’t throw up. I refuse to. I think it’s unnatural. Our digestive tract was meant to go in one direction and gravity and our muscles are nice enough to make sure all the food that goes in comes out an end that I don’t have to see. When that system is interrupted by, say, a little parasite the size of a kidney bean throwing my hormones into hyper mode, I’m not happy. This happened once during my first pregnancy. Much like this one, I was in a constant state of varying nausea but never threw up. Came close once when I was making macaroni and cheese and apparently the smell of boiling noodles was too much for me and I ran to the bathroom in full-sweat-ready-to-vomit mode, but nothing happened. Ha! I win! Take that, Hoju! (J before we found out she was a girl was called Hoju.) Yesterday for dinner I had a bowl of Cheerios and told H threw a mouthfull of oaty goodness, “Cheerios are my heaven.” and he laughed. They were so good that I had a second bowl. I was almost done with this second bowl when I suddenly did NOT feel like heaven and said, “I shouldn’t have had a second bowl.” and then ran to the bathroom. No, didn’t throw up. That feeling didn’t hit hard until 1 am. Woke up with terrible stomach cramps, thought they were gas related but then ran to the bathroom in full-sweat-ready-to-vomit mode. Sat on the potty, sweating like a storm, let things go then put my head over the sink because there was no way in HELL I was going to vomit in a toilet I’d just done THAT in. Then I thought about having to wash vomit down the sink which isn’t the best thing to do when you’re already sick. BUT I didn’t vomit! HA! I win! Take that, Nibbler! Then I whined to H who got up and walked me to the couch where he brought me a glass of water, a bag to puke in and very gently caressed my head until I just melted into the couch and fell asleep. I love him so much. I really do.

Milestone 5: My boobs now hurt so much that I’m wearing my old nursing bras. Stop laughing.

No other big milestones to speak of. Still have issues with people. They all annoy me save a handful. I skipped a best friend’s birthday party on Saturday and flat out used the excuse “I’m pregnant and hate people.” Can’t use that tonight. H and my cousin are way too excited to go out and I can’t deny them my presence a second time. PLus, my awesome cousin bought us lunch yesterday where I was introduced to cornbread pancakes (more heaven than Cheerios) so I figure the least I can do is play sober cab while she and my husband get shit faced. I’m such a giver.

Here’s the weekly fetus update:

How your baby’s growing:

New this week: Webbed fingers and toes are poking out from your baby’s hands and feet, his eyelids practically cover his eyes, breathing tubes extend from his throat to the branches of his developing lungs, and his “tail” is just about gone. In his brain, nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways. You may be daydreaming about your baby as one sex or the other, but the external genitals still haven’t developed enough to reveal whether you’re having a boy or a girl. Either way, your baby — about the size of a kidney bean — is constantly moving and shifting, though you still can’t feel it.

That’s it I guess. Happy New Year and stay safe. I’ll post about christmas later. Eh, I’ll do it now. It was great. There.


2 Responses

  1. Ha! You’re pregnant.

    I’m sorry that your baby is loosing his tail. But he’s getting toes so I suppose it’s a fair trade.

  2. […] totally busting out my mad thievery skills and stealing Marcoda’s Milestone idea, except instead of being weekly, it will be whenever I feel like it. Or weekly. I’m […]

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