Jonas: 11 months

There wasn’t a whole lot of “new” developments this last month. Jonas has been practicing and improving on the skills he already has and is focused on getting bigger and louder.

His curiosity knows no limits. He’s into everything. Some favorites: drawers, toilets, closets (specifically the toilet plunger inside the bathroom closet), the dishwasher, the cupboards, the oven, and the ultimate favorite: the central air vent covers that pop so conveniently out of the floor. Whoever put those is had never met a crawler. Matt fastened in the vent cover in the kitchen but we don’t have that option for the one in the dining room and so put Jaden’s step stool over it. Jonas gets mad, knocks it over, and then pulls the cover out.

Shameful confession time: Jonas loves Jaden’s Baby Einstein “Meet the Orchestra” and her new dinosaur DVD. He doesn’t watch them for long before he’s distracted by the pretty picture frames daddy placed hopefully on a low shelf but he really does love those dinosaurs.

 He no longer has any patience for “baby food” unless it’s fruit mixed with his oatmeal. So far he loves tofu, carrots, ravioli, spaghetti and watermelon. I’ve started buying him those Gerber Toddler Pick-ups things and he can’t get enough of them.

One thing that he’s gotten very good at is communicating his wants. He tugs on pant legs, follows us around whining to be held, pushes away what he doesn’t want and lunges for what he does want. You wouldn’t think one who hasn’t seen a full year on this earth could communicate so well and I have to wonder if sometimes people think I’m full of crap when I say, “Oh he doesn’t want anymore of that. He wants this.” To those that know him, he’s loud and clear.

We took him to the zoo July 3 and he fell in love with the fish. First Matt stood with him and then I did. He kept turning to me with this awed smile on his face that said, “Mom, are you seeing this? This is amazing!” I can never get enough of that smile.

In less than a month, Jonas, you’ll be a full year old. I can’t wrap my mind around that. You’ve flown through all of your development stages with such speed that I don’t have time to catch my breath before you’re off and running to the next. You’re standing with more confidence every day and you love to walk while holding our hands. I remember Jaden at this stage. While she was always strong and loved to stand, she seemed so much more fragile, less sure. You are solid on your feet. There’s a certainty in your stance when you stand by yourself that swells my heart. You came out ready to move and you’re not letting anything stand in your way.

 Happy 11 months, Wonderboy!

Breaking Point

Dear People Who Get Upset With Us For Not “Hanging Out” As Long As You’d Like:

We have children: children that we love more than anything in this world. Each night we get, maybe, 2 ½ hours with them before they have to go to bed (1 ½ hours with our youngest). After they are in bed we have, (again) maybe, 2 hours to spend with each other: our spouse whom we’ve dedicated the rest of our lives to. Those 2 hours are eaten up by Crap That Needs to Get Done Around the House. OR. Hanging Out With Our Friends. The latter is a rarity and usually does not include The Spouse.

The Weekend is two full days in which we need to cram all the Crap That Needs to Get Done Around the House that didn’t get done during the week, Quality Time with the Children That Came Forth from One Of Our Loins, Extended-Family Commitments, Hanging Out With Friends (perhaps even together, like, as a couple and everything!) and then, FINALLY, Quality Time With Spouse.

Within all of that time we need to eat, sleep, bathe, dress, clean, grocery shop, scold and teach children and sneak in a quick kiss here and there.

Many times, one of us has to do all of the parenting/house parts alone so that the other person can get a much needed break to Hang Out With Friends. Most of those times, the person completes the allotted tasks without a word of protest because they know how much the other person does for the family. Once in a blue moon that person snaps and needs help, needs The Spouse to either come home or stay home because my god! We just can’t do it alone for another moment.

When those (rare) times come, please be kind enough to remember all of the times we spend time with you without needing to leave early and with little to no complaint from the Person Stuck At Home (Again). Do not think that we are purposely trying to hurt you or cut your perceived plans short. Remember that we are going home to be with the Family That We Love More Than Anything Else in the World (Even You).

Above all else: Do not think for one moment that you have any right to make us feel guilty for putting family first. Yes, we love you. We just love our family more.

Sincerely and With Love,

The Bingmars

Jaden: 4 Years Old

Jaden 4 years old

the unsung hero

Everyone talks about how moms are the ones that do all the work while the dads are the ones having all the fun.

Those people have never met my husband.

My children’s dad.

I can honestly say our parenting split is 50/50. We take turns picking up the kids, cooking dinner, doing laundry, bathing, disciplining, rewarding, hugging, laughing and playing. Actually, many of those are shared and conducted together.

I trust his judgement, he trusts mine. We’re both going a little overboard in our plans for Jaden’s birthday.

I’ve never seen a man work harder for his kids to raise them right and make them happy. Or take more hits to the groin.

To prove my point about our shared roles, he’s giving J her bath as I write this and then I’ll do bedtime. He also just reminded me to set up her annual check up.

Earlier we gave Jonas his bath and got him ready for bed and then he took him and said, “Let me put him to bed.”

He could easily shirk his duties today citing the holiday as an excuse.

But no. That’s not his style.

Happy Father’s Day, Matt. You were who Hallmark had in mind when they came up with this holiday.

We love you!

An over abundance of exclamations and parentheticals

This past weekend was so freaking awesome it’s taken me two days to process it! That’s not entirely true. I’m pretty sure you know the real reason I haven’t posted about it (see: “LAZY!” and “Wasting Time on Facebook and Google”). Let’s break it down by day, shall we?

 “Yes, Marcoda! We shall!”

 Great! Let’s go!

Friday: I was supposed to go to the annual “County Carnival Parade Type Thing” celebration at my Sister In Law’s House but I had a massive headache so Jonas and I stayed home. After Jonas went to bed I played Sims and watched Shakespeare In Love and nursed my headache; Matt and Jaden went and had a lovely time playing and watching the parade. Until Jaden let go of Uncle Jason’s finger and landed hard on her tail bone. On the asphalt. And cried. Matt brought her home around 9 and headed back to the party. Jaden went to bed and I read fan fiction for three hours or so. Time well spent, I say.

Saturday:  My little nephew had his first dance recital so we all tromped off to a local high school to watch 4 hours of dancing. Oy. Actually, it wasn’t bad at all and actually was quite enjoyable. Back up a titch to us looking for our seats (Section 3, Row G, Seats 4,5, and 6) and who should I see striding up to me looking amazed and gleeful but my brother! (Ya’ll don’t know my brother (his name’s Brad and he’s three years younger than me and the only boy out of my mom’s four kids) and I don’t talk about him much because I see him roughly three times a year. I feel I may have used up a third of my quota with this chance encounter.) Turns out his step daughter is enrolled at my nephew’s dance school and they were there to watch her perform! AND! He was sitting in the row right in front of us! Also, turns out he has a shorter attention span than I thought because he left halfway through never to return. Mysterious. (I found out later he had some crazy car trouble. I’m thinking he went out for a cigarette in his car and discovered at that time his car was dead.) In the same vein of  “small worldness”, before the show we were all standing outside waiting for my in-laws when who should walk up to us saying, “The Bingmars?” but an old friend from high school who I sometimes chat with online. Whoo! Unfortunately we couldn’t visit with her long because she had to bring her little boy in to get ready (ADORABLE! Oh my gosh. He’s got these cheeks and this shaggy dark brown hair. I died. Flat dead.)

Needless to say, as you all know what a damn cry baby I am, I teared up when I saw Nephew on stage in his little kung-fu outfit, with his spiked hair dancing to “Kung-Fu Fighting”. Then again when he danced in his Joker Makeup (From Tim Burton’s Batman with Jack Nicholson) with all the boys (from all classes and age groups) to “Partyman”. And then again when he was jumping up and down during the finale. I love that little boy, I really do. So proud!

Then we went home, had dinner and Matt took Jaden to the carnival to ride some rides and check out the petting zoo. Jonas went to bed without an issue and I watched The Simpsons Movie and (you guessed it) Simmed. Jaden and Daddy came home and J went to bed.  Matt came up behind me in the dining room and said the sweetest thing to me EVER:

“Can I watch you play your game?”

 I almost cried. “Yes! Yes you can, sweetie!”

 Then he asked if he could build a house for my sims.

 I almost cried. “Yes! Yes you can, sweetie!”

We drank rum and cokes and build a house together on the sims while I kept swooning and hugging him and telling him how wonderful he was and how much I love him and this was the best night ever and yes I am a nerd but so are you because you love me, sucker!

Sunday: FINALLY! June figured out that it’s JUNE and it should be fricken nice out for crying out loud. It was 80! And Sunny! And we all played outside! ALL AFTERNOON! (The morning was spent inside with Jaden and I playing Sims while Jonas took an exceptionally long nap.) (Yes, I play a lot of Sims. Wanna fight about it?) Even the cats got out! That sounds like they escaped. What I meant was they got to go outside too. On leads. And now Meena keeps trying to escape or sits in the window pining for the outdoors.

Jonas chased soccer balls, Jaden ran around like a banshee (the cute, imaginative kind), Matt weeded the garden and showed me all the wonderful growth (Beans! Peas! Spinach! Cucumbers! Onions! Tomatoes! Peppers!), and I sat there in the shade basking in the delight of a late-spring afternoon with my family in the backyard that we’ve worked so hard for.

Sometimes I think about the city and I miss living on the outskirts of downtown. Then weekends like the one we just had unfold and I dismiss those wistful thoughts as “grass is greener” mentality. We have way more grass now than we ever did in the city and it’s just going to get greener and greener.*

 

*Grass being a metaphor for happy good times.